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I'm going to start this post about the Parakeet, with - unfortunately (for them, and possibly for you) - a bit of a rant. Why is it that no matter how much money has been lavished on a place, no matter how starry the chefs, how extensive the wine list, how exclusive the whisky collection (the Parakeet has some very interesting bourbons), the beer offering is almost always absolute garbage? I've lost count of the amount of gastropubs I've turned up to for a pre-dinner pint that seem to think it's OK to serve an exciting, seasonal modern British menu with a straight face alongside Camden Hells, Moretti, Guinness and bugger-all else. There's nothing poisonous about any of these bog-standard beers, and not everywhere can be the Wenlock Arms, but honestly guys, it's not difficult - serve the mass-market crap if you must but why not have one or two taps available for something from Deya, or Verdant, or Signature, or Pressure Drop, or god knows how many other great independent craft breweries...
9 hours ago

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More from Cheese and Biscuits

7 Floor Malaysia Tea Room, Holborn

In a world of sprawling Mercato Metropolitanos, Market Halls and Arcade Food Halls, the miniscule Holborn Food Hub is a reminder that food courts come in all shapes and sizes. I'm sure they had very good reasons for filling a space the size of a mobile phone repair shop with fully 3 different food vendors and a ludicrously antisocial arrangement of table and chairs all seemingly piled up on top of each other, as whatever they're doing is working - most days the queue at lunchtime stretches down the street. But we were lucky - and early - enough on a Thursday to bag a small table and order a couple of bits from the 7 Floor Malaysia Tea Room (the name is a bit of a mystery - maybe they started on the 7th floor of somewhere else, as Holborn Food Hub is very definitely on the ground floor). Chicken wings arrived first - robust, healthy things, properly jointed (no wingtips here) and with a lovely bubbly, crackly exterior. Assam Laksa was a giant bowl full of pineapple-spiked seafood broth, topped with sticks of cucumber and pineapple and onion and with a mound of thick Udon-y style noodles (I'm sure there's a Malaysian word for them, sorry) hiding underneath. The aroma as it moved around the room was incredible - and triggered a long-forgotten memory of visiting a hawker still in Kuala Lumpur back when I was just fresh out of university. Back then I probably ended up with something more timid like, well, chicken wings - but it's amazing how long the memory of smells linger as more or less everything else gradually fades. Beef rendang was impeccable - probably the best the capital has to offer, and I've tried a few. There is a surprising amount of very bad rendang in London (the Roti King version is awful - particularly odd when you consider the rest of their offering is decent) but this was doing absolutely everything right, from the complex depth of flavour of the sauce to the beautifully meltingly tender chunks of beef. Also worthy of note was the accompanying sambal which added a beguiling whole new set of umami flavours into the mix. Some slices of cucumber added a welcome salad element, fried shallots (I think they were) added crunch and salty vegetal flavour, and finally a hard boiled egg (because why not) completed the dish. Just like the Assam Laksa, if you were served this from a hawker stall in Malaysia you would be more than happy. There was no printed bill - the girl behind the counter just offered the contactless machine having seemingly done the total in her head - but £41 seemed perfectly reasonable for the amount and quality of food, and I should also mention the service which was so lovely and friendly it was like being invited to eat in someone's front room. Albeit a front room with way too many closely-packed tables and chairs. 9/10

3 days ago 7 votes
Whole Beast, Blackhorse Road and The Friendly, San Diego

Earlier this month I was lucky enough to eat probably the best burger I've ever had in my life. It was a smash burger, cooked quickly on a flat-top to a good crust, placed inside a toasted sweet bun and dressed with little more than deli cheese. And before I get accused of being deliberately misleading I'll say now - it wasn't at Whole Beast. The Friendly in San Diego is a slightly bizarre little operation serving just two things - decent, if unspectacular, pizza by the slice in the New York style, and probably the greatest burger on the West Coast. It's a simple concept but then the greatest things often are - good, coarse, high fat content ground beef, smashed onto a searing hot flat top and aggressively seasoned. Deli cheese is melted on top, and then the single patty goes into a wide, flat bun. So far, so 2025. So this is a tale of two burgers. Or to be more accurate, three burgers across two burger joints. It's not Whole Beast's fault that I had a life-changing sandwich made to a very similar spec in California four days before I found myself heading up Blackhorse Road towards their residency at Exhale taproom, but then I'm afraid life isn't fair. Just ask Dick and Mac McDonald. Whole Beast are clearly burger-lovers, and burger aficionados, as they are doing pretty much everything right in the construction of their offerings. Both have a generous amount of good beef, smashed out flat and wide, spilling attractively outside of the soft toasted buns. The cheeseburger (£13) is a thing of wonderful simplicity made with care and heart - the toasted bread and crisp beef crackle deliciously as you bite down into it, and the melted cheese eases the whole thing along. It really is a superb burger. I like the green chilli cheeseburger slightly less, perhaps because the chilli element comes in the form of a kind of smooth, cold chutney, and there's quite a lot of it, which throws the delicate balance of textures in the smash burger off slightly. I did appreciate the hit of chilli though - they didn't hold back on that - and this was, all said, still a very well constructed burger, with the same crunchy, almost honeycombed beef patty and squishy soft/toasted buns. Their crinkle-cut chips are also excellent, every bit as good as those served by Shake Shack (the only smash burger chain worth bothering with), and holding a nice, greaseless crunch right to the very bottom of the bowl. Smoked chicken wings had a fantastic hearty, bouncy texture that spoke of very good chicken, and a lovely note of smoke accompanied every bite. I will forgive them for leaving the wing tips on (why serve something you can't eat? You might just as well leave the feathers on) because they were so fun to get stuck into, and the "wild leek ranch" they were coated in was a refreshing counterpoint to the smoked meat. The only slight disappointment of the lunch were these cucumbers, which despite the addition of "whipped tofu dressing, chilli crisp, furikake" and something else obliquely referred to as "GGG" (your guess is as good as mine) mainly tasted of, well, what they were - plain, unpickled, chopped cucumbers in a vaguely Japanese salad dressing. And I don't know about you, but I can prepare raw cucumbers fairly easily myself at home. And they don't cost £7. So again, it's hardly a disaster that Whole Beast's version of the smash burger isn't quite on a par with what is regularly spoken about as one of North America's greatest (just ask Reddit) - it's just sheer coincidence I managed to try both in the space of a week, and there was only ever going to be one winner in that battle. The fact is, the E17 variety is still, by any measure, a smashing (pun intended) achievement and a lovely way to spend your lunch money. And London's burger scene is all the better for its existence. I forgot to take a photo of the bill but the damage per person came to about £33 with a pint of Exale beer each. And yes, that is a terrible photo of the Friendly Dirty Flat Top Cheeseburger, sorry - you'll have to take my word for it that it looked a lot better in person.

a week ago 10 votes
Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons, Great Milton

I'm sure the Manoir (as I will call it for this post) can impress whatever the weather, but when the early summer sun is shining, and punters are welcomed into the gardens for their aperitifs and/or digestifs, the place is surely at its best. When you've got gardens like these, sprawling over several manicured acres, including orchards, vegetable allotments, lawns and ponds, all in the shadow of a honeyed Cotswold stone country mansion, you need to make the most of them, and after the first glass of English sparkling wine I was thinking that whatever else happened during the day (and despite the weirdly cheap-looking garden furniture) that well, this is just lovely isn't it? Of course, we weren't just at the Manoir to drink champagne in the sun (although I get the feeling the staff would have no issue with you doing just that) but to see what on earth you get for the eye-watering £230 per person lunch menu - a figure that puts it right out in the top 1% of dining experiences in the country. Paying this amount of money puts a place firmly in the 'extremely special occasion' category, and brings with it a certain set of expectations that, for better or worse, only a near-flawless (or actually flawless) experience can meet. But it was during that first drink on the lawn, once we'd had a few minutes to settle down and take it all in, that we began to notice something. Good service is pretty much the norm these days in the UK - we took a while to catch up with the rest of the world but can now easily hold our own. But the staff at the Manoir appear to be operating on another level entirely. They dance around the place, nimble as ballerinas, confident, happy, assured, attentive yes but not overly-so, chatty and pleasant but never too much - it really is a world-class lesson in front of house. So in all honesty, the food only needed to be good enough and we still would have had the time of our lives at the Manoir, as it's impossible to not enjoy being a part of a service routine so utterly dazzling. But it's a pleasure to report that the generous number of dishes that made up the lunch tasting menu were almost as faultless - starting with these bitesize canapes of beef tartare with shimeji mushroom, salmon tartare with trout roe, and (my favourite) a dainty beetroot and goats' cheese meringue sandwich which absolutely exploded with flavour in the mouth. House bread was a sort of tomato-laced brioche thing which reminded me very much of the onion brioche they used to serve at the Ledbury back in the day. Maybe they still serve it at the Ledbury, I don't know I haven't been in a while. Anyway that was, just like this is, excellent, just moreish enough that you worry about filling up on it before the menu proper starts. This confit egg with pea and smoked bacon was perfectly nice but perhaps the only dish that didn't feel quite in the same 2-Michelin-star league as everything else. I liked the little cheese straw thing wrapped with ham, but there was something a little bland and textureless about the egg and pea mixture itself. Still, another person on our table said this was his favourite dish, so there's every chance this is just a matter of taste. Next up (for some of us at least) was a lovely big slab of seared foie gras. For a £35 supplement - because presumably a menu costing £230 per person is barely even covering their costs - it came (as you might hope) beautifully cooked, absolutely dissolving in the mouth, and alongside a dainty little apple tart. With a tamarind sauce dropped on top, it really was a fantastically enjoyable plate of food. The non-supplemental alternative was a scallop ceviche with cucumber and Thai spices, which I didn't get to try but am reliably informed was also excellent. Looks the part as well, doesn't it? Everyone absolutely loved this next course, a huge single morel mushroom stuffed with chicken and sweetbreads, sat in a white asparagus and Jura wine foam. Sometimes when French food goes full, no-holds-barred, Frenchier-than-French haute cuisine, there's absolutely no stopping it. This was a course to remember, certainly. Nobody felt confident enough to go for the £50 supplement A4 Wagyu, but there was a certain amount of soul searching when we saw it presented to other tables, above a mini charcoal grill sending waves of incredible beefy flavours wafting around the room. But fortunately, lamb with sweetbread, asparagus and wild garlic was stunning - a piece of loin so tender you could have cut it with a spoon, and new season asparagus and wild garlic from the gardens adding the perfect vegetable pairing. We also loved the little potato tuiles made into the shape of flowers, and the brilliantly sharp dots of mint sauce which added another talking point. Cheeses next - I forget which is considered more 'French', having cheese before dessert or after, but Le Manoir have gone for the former - and a relatively short but focussed selection of cheeses in blindingly good condition. There was an aged Comte (of course) and an English blue, but the stars of the show were two soft washed-rind cheeses, one French and one English, which I completely forgot to write down. Hopefully someone can identify them from the pictures. They were great, anyway. As a palate cleanser with elements of savoury (lime and bitters) and dessert (cream and chocolate), the pre-dessert bridged the gap to the sweet courses perfectly. With a base of bitter chocolate and cocoa nib topped with a dome of lime foam, it looked gorgeous and tasted even better - just ridiculously easy to eat. The strawberry dessert was absolutely perfect in every way. A hundred different pastry techniques all on show at once, all masterfully done, all showcasing a main ingredient at its absolute best and treated beautifully. I particularly liked the way they'd incorporated strawberry into the brandy-snap crunchy topping, and also placed a bit of strawberry puree into a sample of the actual strawberry so you can see where it all started. Also, though again I didn't get to try it, there was something called a "Cafe creme", a cup made of actual chocolate filled with various coffee-flavoured mousses, parfaits and (I think) ice cream. And as per the scallop dish, I didn't hear any complaints, even about the £35 supplement. And perhaps a supplement for foie gras I can understand, or Wagyu beef, but coffee and chocolate? Petits fours, including a wonderful mini magnum on a stick, were served back out in the garden under the late afternoon sun. And it's just as well that the final bits of food we were served here were just as impressive as the first as it was here, sozzled and sated, that we were handed the bill. £1902 for 4 people. But there's two points I need to make about what is clearly a lot of money for a single meal. Firstly, Le Manoir do not hold back on the old wine refills. I think we must have had about double what they advertised (125ml per glass) - at least it certainly felt like it once we'd barrelled out of the place into an Uber - and none of these extras were added to the bill or even mentioned as an issue. They just always made sure our glasses were full. Secondly, and I realise I'm repeating myself, but bloody hell that service. As we had visited on a "very high pollen" day, one of our party sneezed (discreetly I may add) at the table and within seconds a box of tissues had appeared by her side. Our waiter wasn't just charming but fun with it - I realise that has the potential to be completely insufferable but I honestly think he just completely clicked what kind of day we wanted and went with it. The smiles never left our faces for the whole afternoon (at least apart from the times we were filling them with food and booze) and it transformed what would have been an extremely pleasant experience into an exceptional one. Pied a Terre or, I don't know, even £350 better than somewhere like etch in Hove despite having lovely formal gardens to enjoy. A lot of places do very good food now, and the Manoir is no longer the exclusive island of gastronomy it once was over 40 years ago. 8/10

3 weeks ago 7 votes
The Duke, Henley

It's coming up on a year since I was last in this part of the world, when I had a very lovely lunch in the sun at Dominic Chapman, then a brand new restaurant in the Relais hotel on the banks of the Thames. Strolling around town before lunch last week I was pleased to see he was still at the Relais - he's a talented chef and deserves to do well - but I do remember being one of about 6 people in a vast dining room last May. It's strange how some of the wealthiest areas of the country need to be persuaded to spend money on food, even as they drive around town clogging up the tiny streets in their Range Rovers and Aston Martins. So I was a little concerned that for the whole of a Saturday lunch service we were the only people eating at the new Duke Henley. But I suppose the point of these invites is to change that and get the word out, and perhaps it's not too much to hope the people of Henley can be persuaded out of the giant Wetherspoons round the corner and into this charming, dynamic little startup. Aged beef fat focaccia was the first thing to arrive, which I hope you can tell even from my slightly blurry photo (I really think it's about time I got myself a better camera - any suggestions welcome) was nice and bubbly on top, smokey from the grill and came with whipped wild garlic butter (first week of the season apparently) and rosemary salt. I'm always a bit torn about having butter with focaccia - I have a feeling it's not very traditional Italian - but then rules are meant to be broken, aren't they? Apologies to any Italians out there. Venison tartare came hidden under a layer of powerfully wasabi-spiked cream - horseradish cream, basically, only with wasabi. We were instructed to scoop it out using the accompanying prawn cracker style puffed snacks and while this sort of occasionally worked there weren't really enough crackers for the generous portion of tartare, and they had a habit of disintegrating when you attempted to scoop. So we basically ended up having the crackers on the side and then eating the tartare with a spoon. Tasted good though. These were "Toastie"s, big chunks of chargrilled toast covered in gooey grilled bechamel and umami-rich black garlic, topped with shaved parmesan and what I think were crisp fried shallots. The trick in "poshing-up" cheese on toast is to not have too many confusing flavours, but black garlic and cheese are a perfect little partnership, and the bread was light and easy to eat despite being a generous portion. King prawns with yuzu, jalapeno and cucumber made a delightful counterpoint to the richness elsewhere, adding more of those Asian ingredients to complement plump, meaty prawns. The yuzu and cucumber made a kind of Japanese gazpacho, and there were all sorts of micro herbs and interesting vegetables (sprigs of fennel maybe, and parsley) added to the mix. One of the highlights of the lunch. We certainly only have ourselves to blame for ordering so many dishes with the same ingredients, but it was testament to the skill of the kitchen that these tube-shaped chips, that came with yet more cheese and black garlic, were ethereally light and ridiculously easy to eat. Topped with Rachel, a semi-hard goats cheese, it was another one of those dishes that would have gone great with a pint at the bar, or picked at in their little walled beer garden. We had enjoyed everything up to this point so much that we went for both sweet desserts to finish. This is miso salted caramel tart, with pineapple chutney and crème fraiche, which was dense and gooey and almost slightly too salty but shared between too people not too overwhelming. And this is Yorkshire forced (I assume) rhubarb, chunky and jammy, served with ice cream and shards of berry-studded meringue, which had a lovely summery flavour profile and some fantastic complimentary textures. Both desserts disappeared in record time. 8/10 I was invited to the Duke and didn't see a bill.

a month ago 21 votes

More in travel

Untold

I went out yesterday morning, inspired by something I'd read, and visited somewhere on the other side of London. When I got there I had a quick look round and took some photos. And I haven't told anyone else about it. One thing about living by yourself is that there's nobody else at home to chat to. If you have an opinion on the news, nobody's there to hear it. If you come up with a really good joke, it's wasted. If you cook something unusual for lunch, nobody comments. If you do a really good job of cleaning the windows, nobody notices. If you want reassurance that what you're wearing looks OK, the mirror never answers back. And if you go out for the day, nobody's waiting to hear all about it when you get home. Who else cares that I've watered my cactus and kept it alive? Who wants to hear that I've been back to the library and what I thought of the last book I returned? Who might help with three down in the crossword? Who can I rail at when the price of chocolate biscuits goes up again? Who'll notice that stray eyebrow hair or the splodge of sun lotion that didn't quite blend in? When I get home from visiting X, Y and Z who wants to hear details of how unusual X was and how the journey almost went wrong between Y and Z? Some of us are bursting with mundane stories and have nobody to tell. I do have one significant outlet, obviously, and that's this blog. It's not just me reporting back on points of interest around the capital, it's also my chance to tell you carefully curated snippets about my life. Over the last month I've told you about the pink tie I saw on the Overground, the bacon and sausage baguette I ate in Lyme Regis, that time I won some free chocolate digestives, a man I saw vomiting on a street tree, how good the tulips are in Enfield, a parking ticket I once bought in Basildon and that time I saw the Pope. These are all minor things of the kind you might tell a live-in partner merely to pass the time, but I manage to share them with thousands of people I've never met and it simply counts as 'content'. When people have lived with someone else for decades, I'm often in awe of how they still have things to say. They must know by now what the other person thinks of immigration, how they like their toast or whether to switch off the TV before EastEnders starts. The news can be a gift to long term conversation because it provides a never-ending canvas to comment on. Plans and targets help too, like making progress towards a new kitchen, remembering which bin to take out and spending the best part of two decades bringing up children. A top conversational tactic for older couples while out and about, it seems, is simply to 'say what you see'. One partner provides a running commentary ("ooh a cat" "the sun's come out" "she's riding on the pavement") and it helps keep everything ticking over rather than just sitting there in silence. So today I thought I'd offer an opportunity to those of you with something to say and nobody to say it to. Tell us now. What happened to you yesterday that you haven't had the chance to tell anyone else about? comments if(postComments['123456789012'] != null){document.write(' (' + postComments['123456789012'] + ')')}else{document.write(' (0)')}; So much of what we do goes untold, to any audience, especially for those of us who go through life by ourselves. It's by no means always a bad thing, but also potentially an enormous waste when we could have much to say.

16 hours ago 2 votes
London's three fare scales

Ever since contactless travel became the norm, people have got used to swanning round London without knowing what their journey costs. Swipe, travel, swipe, and somewhere around four the next morning your bank balance is adjusted by the requisite total. The capital's fare system is remarkably complex, especially since tube prices and rail prices were merged into an awkward zonal system and warped by annual increases. But I wonder how many Londoners realise quite how different the fares for very similar journeys can be, and so are paying way more than they think. • The TfL fare scale includes Underground, Overground, DLR and Elizabeth line, i.e. pretty much everything operated by TfL. It also includes various rail lines which are treated as if they're TfL lines, including Chiltern Railways out of Marylebone and c2c out of Fenchurch Street. • The rail fare scale covers South West Railways, Southern and Southeastern, plus outer parts of Thameslink and Great Northern. On this map the lines where you pay the TfL fare scale are coloured blue (tube), orange (Overground), green (DLR) and purple (Crossrail). The lines where you pay the rail fare scale are coloured red. And the bad news for people in south London is that red fares are generally rather higher than blue. n.b. It's much more complicated than this but I'm keeping it simple. I've ignored Southeastern High Speed, I've ignored the premium you pay to go to Heathrow, I've ignored Southern trains to Watford Junction, I've ignored the Greater Anglia off-peak anomaly, I've ignored daily caps, I've ignored a lot of things. Oyster fares website, along with a full explanation of all the complex caveats I've skipped over. Thanks Mike. Zone 1-2 peakoff-peak    Brixton - VictoriaVictoria line£3.50£2.90    Brixton - VictoriaNational Rail£3.90£3.20 fare difference+11%+10% Zone 1-3 peakoff-peak    Wood Green - King's CrossPiccadilly line£3.80£3.10    Alex' Palace - King's CrossNational Rail£4.60£3.70 fare difference+21%+19% Zone 1-4 peakoff-peak    Morden - King's CrossNorthern line£4.60£3.40    Morden South - King's CrossNational Rail£5.30£4.00 fare difference+15%+18% Zone 1-5 peakoff-peak    High Barnet - King's CrossNorthern line£5.20£3.60    New Barnet - King's CrossNational Rail£6.60£4.40 fare difference+27%+22% Zone 1-6 peakoff-peak    Uxbridge - King's CrossMetropolitan line£5.80£3.80    Orpington - King's CrossNational Rail£8.50£5.20 fare difference+47%+37% Unexpectedly journeys avoiding Zone 1 vary even more. Zone 3-4 peakoff-peak    Woolwich - Custom HouseElizabeth line£2.30£2.10    Woolwich Arsenal - Woolwich DockyardNational Rail£3.60£3.00 fare difference+57%+43% Zone 2-6 peakoff-peak    Mile End - EppingCentral line£3.60£2.40    Clapham Jn - SurbitonNational Rail£5.50£3.90 fare difference+53%+63% But where things get really expensive is if your journey combines the blue and red scales, i.e. with a bit of one and a bit of the other. A completely different fare scale exists for journeys that mix tube and rail and it's even more expensive. To be clear that's not every rail line, it's mostly those in south London, but combining modes can really mount up. • The TfL+rail fare scale applies to journeys combining a TfL service and a National Rail service. Zone 1-2 peakoff-peak    Brixton - VictoriaNational Rail£3.90£3.20       Brixton - Oxford CircusNR + Victoria£5.90£5.10 fare difference+51%+59% Of course in this case, from Brixton, you could just have taken the Victoria line all the way. This would have been £2.90 because that's what an off-peak z1-2 tube fare costs. But by taking a train and then the tube you'd be paying £5.10, i.e. 76% more than the equivalent tube journey. off-peak  tube    train  tube+train z1-2£2.90  £3.20 +10%£5.10 +76% z1-3£3.10  £3.70 +19%£5.40 +74% z1-4£3.40  £4.00 +18%£5.90 +74% z1-5£3.60  £4.40 +22%£6.30 +75% z1-6£3.80  £5.20 +37%£7.00 +84% tube, train and a bit of both. As you can see the tube is cheapest (remember this includes DLR, Overground and Elizabeth line). Taking the train the equivalent distance is dearer, generally by about 20% (remember this is generally trains in south London). And the absolute horror show is a journey combining tube and train for which you'll be charged a whopping premium of approximately 75%. Ouch, three quarters more! a single zone 1-6 journeypeakoff-peak    Upminster - King's Crosstube£5.80£3.80    Enfield Chase - King's CrossNational Rail£6.60£4.40    Kingston - King's CrossNR and tube£10.40£7.00 fare difference+79%+84% Ever since contactless travel became the norm, people have got used to swanning round London without knowing what their journey costs. But I wonder how many are paying way over the odds because they don't realise combined train and tube journeys cost the most. Even one stop on the tube can be extortionate if it follows on from the wrong kind of train journey. totally shafted by London's unfairest fare scale.

yesterday 2 votes