More from diamond geezer
I toured London again today. Bromley the search perimeter was ready and waiting, Variety Coach 5418 drove down the hill, the man at the water fountain spotted four police cars and told me he hoped several chidren had been hurt ("they're all devils at that school"), the recycling box was full of zero-alcohol wine bottles, a buzzcut man opened a can of £1.29 Black Stripe lager and yelled across the street. Croydon two people who knew the buzzcut man yelled back, I read a t-shirt and made a note to look up where the Isola di Mortorio is, the facial specialist had a big fan going, lemon sorbet sundaes were on offer, also Four Boroughs kombucha, a blue J-cloth sat on the bar, apparently JR Was Here!!!! Enfield three executives piled into a Merc after loading their luggage into the boot, the car park awaits its future as housing, the florist warns passers-by she has CCTV trained on her outside pots, there's a 12 hour Gin & Rum Festival at Pymmes Mews tomorrow, the exterior of the restaurant is mostly geraniums. Harrow two alfresco coffeeshoppers stirred their frappés, the pigeon netting is still holding, Harrow Open Studios continues until Sunday, nobody's taken down the advert promoting the TfL Book Club (£4.99 a month) even though it folded two years ago, the cobblers kiosk has mugs on display for Mothers Day and St Patrick's Day. Havering the 375 is still serving Romford station even though the poster outside insists it doesn't, they put a double decker on the route today, nine people boarded at Bus Stop Z so it's just as well it's still running the full route. Hillingdon the Lady Marmalade Cafe was full of builders and pensioners, Morrisons is just a shell now, Rose's Fun Fair is up and running on the Common (admission £4 which includes one free ride), two swans floated down the canal, a godbotherer handed out leaflets to two diners on the Gregg's sun terrace, someone had parked an orange McLaren outside the gym. It took me an hour less than yesterday. I did not go to Barking and Dagenham, Barnet, Bexley, Brent, Camden, the City, Ealing, Greenwich, Hackney, Hammersmith and Fulham, Haringey, Hounslow, Islington, Kensington and Chelsea, Kingston, Lambeth, Lewisham, Merton, Newham, Redbridge, Richmond, Southwark, Sutton, Waltham Forest, Wandsworth or Westminster. I also went to Buckinghamshire but I didn't see anything interesting there.
The news from Havering (black holes, Schrodinger's bus and thatched rabbits) roundabout in north Havering has closed to traffic for 12 weeks. It is an almighty constriction. Gallows Corner flyover can be strengthened, even made safe for HGVs, safeguarding it for the next 60 years. But this requires sensationally savage road closures because the A12 arterial is already such a barrier that there's essentially no other way to cross from one side to the other. Through traffic is being diverted via the M25, which is miles and miles, and local traffic faces lengthy tortuous detours via insufficient roads increasingly choked with cars. From the south it makes a trip to the mega-Tesco basically unattainable and from the north it makes a quick nip into Romford most unwise. The only traffic permitted through the junction is public transport (and taxis and emergency vehicles) so the smart way across is by bus, but routes have reduced frequencies and anything trying to get through has to wait at temporary traffic lights (a 3-way junction with an approximate four-minute cycle time). I watched a suspicious number of vehicles trying to get through anyway, then struggling to reverse when they discovered their exit was blocked, blocking everyone else. Pedestrians can still cross but it's poorly signed, and basically stay the hell away unless you live here, in which case my deepest summer commiserations. A highly unexpected casualty of the Gallows Corner closure is the 375, one of London's least frequent buses which normally pootles out of Romford to serve the village of Havering-atte-Bower. For the duration of the closure it will instead terminate at Chase Cross, i.e. the urban 3 miles will be chopped off and only the rural lunge into Essex will remain. This is particularly rubbish for residents of H-a-B because it means their only bus won't even reach some shops, let alone a station, the intention being that they switch to/from the 175 to complete their journey. I went to ride this embarrassment of a stunted bus yesterday. A huge poster outside Romford Station warned potential passengers that the 375 wouldn't be stopping anywhere near here until September... so it was a bit of a surprise when a 375 rolled in at the bus stop opposite and disgorged several passengers. It was even more of a surprise when the supposedly non-existent bus reappeared and took a dozen of us out of central Romford. We passed at least six bus stops with a yellow poster claiming the bus we were on wasn't running, then drove straight past the stop where the journey had been due to start. I rode the bus all the way into Essex, way out beyond Stapleford Abbotts almost to the M25, and at Passingford Bridge the driver swung round and took a growing cargo of passengers all the way back to central Romford again. So is the 375 buggered or not? • According to TfL's bespoke Gallows Corner webpage, the 375 definitely isn't serving Romford. • According to TfL's Bus Changes webpage, the 375 is not mentioned so must be running normally. • According to a poster outside Romford station, the 375 won't be back until September. • According to the Countdown display it's due in 3 minutes. • According to the 375 webpage and various apps, all's normal. • According to every ounce of pre-publicity, Chase Cross only. restored, not a moment too soon, by a public body intent on carving up the borough. That building is Upminster Tithe Barn, built in the mid 15th century on the orders of the Abbot of Waltham Abbey. At 44m it's not quite as long as Harmondsworth's but it is believed to be London's oldest thatched building. It was also in an increasingly poor state, so much so that it was added to Historic England's Heritage At Risk list in 2023, and with its damaged timbers and leaky roof could simply have decayed away. Financial rescue came from a most unlikely place, namely National Highways who contributed £650,000 towards full restoration. A team of master thatchers and other craftspeople started in January and were done by June, and the resulting finish does indeed look splendid. 11,000 bundles of water reed were used to rethatch the roof and it looks properly crisp, like a recently barbered cut. Up top are a particularly striking pair of thatched hares named Willow and Hunter by local schoolchildren, added as a final decorative flourish. Three lightning conductors have been added in the hope that the new fire alarms will never be needed. The intention is to retain the barn for public use, indeed the superbly quirky Museum of Nostalgia is due to be back inside and offering Open Days again next year. As yet nobody's found the cash to install toilets, and if you go along today all you'll see is a smart locked building beside a dusty car park, but this fine survivor is indeed back on the map. Lower Thames Crossing. This is the new road tunnel between Essex and Kent which will scythe off through fields around North Ockendon and help declog the QE2 Bridge, and which was given the financial go-ahead just last week. Grants from the Lower Thames Crossing Designated Funds have been offered to over 50 community projects including Purfleet Heritage Centre, a local Scout Group, a bike skills area in Gravesend and Thurrock LGBTQ+ Network. It may seem perverse to be donating cash allocated to road building to rethatch a barn nowhere near the proposed dual carriageway, indeed a cynic might suggest National Highways are only doing this to take some of the eco-heat out of their hugely controversial tunnel project. But wouldn't it be nice to be able to drive under Gravesend Reach, and aren't those boxing hares superb?
Thank you for the emails you've been sending. Tom emailed on 16th January. ✉ Not sure if you have come across the National Archives’ 2023 competition on stories from 1920s streets, but it seems completely in your zone. The only thing that would have made this article better would have been on-the-ground reporting from East Dulwich. the article in question is "Bertie Sheldrake was a South London pickle manufacturer who converted to Islam and became king of a far-flung Islamic republic before returning to London and settling back into obscurity." I also enjoyed one of the other winning reports about three ladies working in Trewins department store in Watford in the 1920s, obviously. ✉ I don't know if you've been to Paddington lately, but they've got a particularly irritating electronic sign which hectors you to use the lifts if you have luggage, buggies, or other large items. Indeed they have. Emma emailed on 6th March. ✉ Hi Diamond Geezer, I was just wondering, what are your thoughts on the redevelopment of the Orpington Walnuts centre? I said it looked exceptionally generic, that no way were they 'Creating Character', and what's normal for inner London would feel very out of place in the centre of Orpington (a tower block especially so). ✉ This week I came across an interesting discrepancy between two maps on the same H&C line train (photos attached). Do you have any insight on how these walking distances are measured - is it station entrance to station entrance, platform to platform or something else? Could there be a reason they vary here, beyond simple carelessness (perhaps crow flies vs distance walked on streets)? Have you ever tried to measure the distances yourself? I checked and it really is the case, the two line diagrams in the same train carriage really do give different distances from Tower Hill. On the Circle line map Tower Gateway is 150m and Fenchurch Street is 100m, and on the District line map Tower Gateway is 130m and Fenchurch Street is 160m. And yet the two lines use the same platform and passengers emerge through the same gateline! The Fenchurch Street difference is quite big so it can't be a rounding thing. How did this ever slip through? In 2023 someone asked for a copy of all the car line diagrams on the tube, and TfL provided a zip file which shows exactly what Karol photographed here - two maps with different measurements. Last month someone asked again, seeking updated maps now the Overground lines have different names and a fresh zip file was provided. The new District Line map says it's 150m to Tower Gateway and Fenchurch Street is 100m - the anomaly has been removed. final step in the rebrand won't be completed until there's an operational need to replace them because TfL don't have the money. Hence the anomaly has been updated but the maps haven't, hence there are still line maps with mismatched distances rattling round the network. Also I measured it and you definitely can't get from Tower Hill to Fenchurch Street in 100m, more like 130m, perhaps 160m, it all depends precisely where you measure from and to. ✉ The musician Jah Wobble, former bass player with Public Image Limited, has just released an album called "The North London Line (Mildmay)" which muses on the history and culture of locations along the line. It's a mixture of spoken poetry and (mostly) electronica and dub and I think it's fantastic. Can be streamed free via bandcamp.com. "The Bus Routes of South London", best listened to on headphones from the front seat top deck. My favourite track is "The 35 towards Clapham Junction". Tom emailed on 23rd April. ✉ I have been wanting to walk/run through the Rotherhithe Tunnel for some time. I recall you blogged about doing so but didn’t recommend due to the fumes. Do you happen to know if it is open to pedestrians during the London Marathon (when it is closed to cars)? We decided it wasn't, although there was no obvious reason why it couldn't be on Marathon day. I still don't recommend walking through it on any other day, even though you can. ✉ This morning I walked along the interesting perimeter footpath on the east side of Biggin Hill Airport which made me wonder if this is the longest unbroken public right of way in London? This is an excellent question and very much something I'd be interested in. The perimeter footpath on the east side of Biggin Hill Airport goes a heck of a long way without meeting any other footpath, by my calculations about 2.9km, or nearly two miles. Does any London right of way go further without any means of escape? round the outside of Hampton Court Park is 4.3km long, but there is a break point where you can slip into the park so it doesn't count. The Thames Path round the back of the Thamesmead void is only 1.8km, but feels much longer. The longest stretch of Grand Union towpath I can find is 1.9km. In which case I think the longest unbroken right of way in London is the Thames Path round Coldharbour Point, beyond Rainham, part of the last desolate leg of the London Loop, at 3.0km. Unless anyone knows better? ✉ While painted maps mounted at the entrance to council estates are ten a penny, Wellsmoor Gardens has a fantastic relief map mounted as a weird sculpture. I thought of you as soon as I saw it. It is absolutely cracking, and although I've seen it before I've never blogged about it, which I am absolutely putting right today. It stands at the entrance to a leafy cluster of mid-60s cul-de-sacs, all flowered greens and separate garages, not far from Chislehurst station. And it's recently been restored to its shimmering best by the Heritage of London Trust in honour of its creator FHK Henrion, the father of corporate branding. You might want to scrutinise the legend on the adjacent plaque, or read this lovely post about the re-unveiling, or check out some of his London Transport posters, or just go to Bickley and admire.
Yesterday TfL launched a consultation proposing an extension of the DLR to Thamesmead. And not just "we think it would be a good idea to extend the DLR to Thamesmead" because they did that consultation last year. This is the proper full-on version including where the stations should be, the alignment of the tunnel, how often the trains should run, what needs a viaduct, how to avoid underground hazards, where to turn back additional services and how best to support loads of housing. This is where the project gets real, the point at which you can stand in a car park and say "one day there may be a station precisely here". So that's what I've done. 1½ mile spur bearing off near the end of the Beckton branch. The first new stop would be at Beckton Riverside, which is housing developer brandspeak for "the middle of the former Beckton Gasworks". The second and final stop would be in Thamesmead, a huge 1960s estate that still doesn't have a station because every subsequent administration has failed it. Between the two stations would be a 1.3km tunnel, potentially the DLR's third Thames crossing. Trains would run at least every 8 minutes direct to Custom House and Canning Town for onward connections. And it'd improve accessibility sufficiently for 25,000 homes to be built at each location, which is the sole reason anyone's thinking of building it. If you're thinking "I would have extended the Overground from Barking Riverside, surely that would have been better?" you are very much behind the curve. Last year's consultation pointed out that this would be more expensive, less direct and more infrequent, thus worse in every way, and this is why TfL employs experts rather than opinionated armchair moaners. first new station would be precisely here. This is the Gallions Reach Shopping Park, a car-focused collection of retail sheds opened in 2003. Specifically it's Armada Way, the sole access road that loops through this once godforsaken space. Specifically it's opposite the Tesco garage by the junction where buses turn off to deposit potential shoppers in the middle of a car park. And specifically it's a grassy ridge alongside the main road - part open lawn, part occupied by scrubby trees - close to where several gasholders used to be. Here workers occasionally sit for a coffee or a smoke amid a mown selection of small yellow flowers, prevented from edging further by a spiky metal fence. Given current weather conditions I might best describe it as a dry hump. And yet if all goes to plan this yellowing stripe will become the location of a ground-level step-free station serving tens of thousands of newbuild homes, not just Next and Sports Direct. recently extended, because it would be self-defeating for a transport enhancement project to eat itself. reveals that five different potential station locations were considered, two of them mid-car-park so now discounted, one too close to the DLR depot to be economically viable and one too near the river to permit a safe tunnel gradient. The selected 'Option 3' isn't without its downsides, not least that the grassy hump I mentioned earlier in fact covers a high pressure gas pipeline, hence the flurry of red and yellow warning signage along its length. But one day this scant verge could be the heart of a high-density high-vernacular neighbourhood, abuzz with opportunity, and all just eight stops from Canning Town. second new station would be precisely here. This is the Cannon Retail Park, an outer corner of Thamesmead's shopping sprawl. The majority of the space is car park, and well used because the lack of a station means a lot of people round here drive. A row of five warehouse units runs along the far side, only two of which are currently occupied but both still relatively busy. And in the corner closest to the roundabout is a drive-thru KFC, a squat functional block offering 11 herbs and spices and a £1.79 Milkybar Raspberry Ripple Sundae. All of this would disappear in order to make way for the terminus, because never underestimate the ability of a transport planner to identify a patch of land as a potential worksite and then eradicate it entirely. B&M only opened last year and Puregym last month so they'll be less pleased to hear they're destined to become two platforms in zone 4. One of the two station options had the buffers coincide with McDonalds but that idea's been abandoned to cause less disruption and now they'll land bang on top of KFC instead. The plan also involves putting the station on a raised viaduct, partly to increase pedestrian permeability but also because (apparently) it'd make the line easier to extend in the future should a pie-in-the-sky line into Bexley ever get off the ground. Twin Tumps, a pair of moated bunkers once used to safely store ammunition. Thamesmead is riddled with tumps, some since transformed into compact watery parklets, but these two are out of sight out of mind. The intention is to make them the focus of a new transport nexus with the DLR gliding between the two like some kind of futuristic green utopia, then open up the untouched landfill marshland beyond. A ridiculously large wedge of Thamesmead has gone undeveloped over the last few decades, in part for lack of transport but mainly because it's been safeguarded for the Thames Gateway Bridge. Boris scrapped this in 2008 so TfL are dead keen to remove unnecessary planning protection and drive through a railway and tens of thousands of homes instead, and you can see their point. 'turnback' location so that these extra services don't need to run all the way into central London and clog up the existing network. TfL identified eight potential sites for an additional siding or platform, six of which were swiftly proven to be impractical. The two that remain in the running are at Royal Victoria and Canning Town, as pictured here. Royal Victoria already has a surplus track from the time when Silverlink trains ran this way, and it would be cheap and easy to repurpose this for a third platform allowing reversing trains to terminate here. However from a practical point of view it's very much suboptimal, turfing off passengers one stop before Canning Town, so a Canning Town turnback is likely to be preferred instead. This would squeeze into the neck of a meander on Bow Creek, just past the station, where an unsafe footbridge currently crosses the tracks. Demolishing this would allow a fractional widening with a reversing siding in the centre, although space is tight and the local pedestrian promenade could be adversely affected. Watch this space. 2012 I stood in a Sainsbury's car park and noted that it could one day become Nine Elms station. Perhaps a humpy grass verge and a KFC drive-thru will one day become the outer reaches of the DLR, in which case best read the fine detail in the consultation so you won't appear ignorant when it finally arrives.
More in travel
The news from Havering (black holes, Schrodinger's bus and thatched rabbits) roundabout in north Havering has closed to traffic for 12 weeks. It is an almighty constriction. Gallows Corner flyover can be strengthened, even made safe for HGVs, safeguarding it for the next 60 years. But this requires sensationally savage road closures because the A12 arterial is already such a barrier that there's essentially no other way to cross from one side to the other. Through traffic is being diverted via the M25, which is miles and miles, and local traffic faces lengthy tortuous detours via insufficient roads increasingly choked with cars. From the south it makes a trip to the mega-Tesco basically unattainable and from the north it makes a quick nip into Romford most unwise. The only traffic permitted through the junction is public transport (and taxis and emergency vehicles) so the smart way across is by bus, but routes have reduced frequencies and anything trying to get through has to wait at temporary traffic lights (a 3-way junction with an approximate four-minute cycle time). I watched a suspicious number of vehicles trying to get through anyway, then struggling to reverse when they discovered their exit was blocked, blocking everyone else. Pedestrians can still cross but it's poorly signed, and basically stay the hell away unless you live here, in which case my deepest summer commiserations. A highly unexpected casualty of the Gallows Corner closure is the 375, one of London's least frequent buses which normally pootles out of Romford to serve the village of Havering-atte-Bower. For the duration of the closure it will instead terminate at Chase Cross, i.e. the urban 3 miles will be chopped off and only the rural lunge into Essex will remain. This is particularly rubbish for residents of H-a-B because it means their only bus won't even reach some shops, let alone a station, the intention being that they switch to/from the 175 to complete their journey. I went to ride this embarrassment of a stunted bus yesterday. A huge poster outside Romford Station warned potential passengers that the 375 wouldn't be stopping anywhere near here until September... so it was a bit of a surprise when a 375 rolled in at the bus stop opposite and disgorged several passengers. It was even more of a surprise when the supposedly non-existent bus reappeared and took a dozen of us out of central Romford. We passed at least six bus stops with a yellow poster claiming the bus we were on wasn't running, then drove straight past the stop where the journey had been due to start. I rode the bus all the way into Essex, way out beyond Stapleford Abbotts almost to the M25, and at Passingford Bridge the driver swung round and took a growing cargo of passengers all the way back to central Romford again. So is the 375 buggered or not? • According to TfL's bespoke Gallows Corner webpage, the 375 definitely isn't serving Romford. • According to TfL's Bus Changes webpage, the 375 is not mentioned so must be running normally. • According to a poster outside Romford station, the 375 won't be back until September. • According to the Countdown display it's due in 3 minutes. • According to the 375 webpage and various apps, all's normal. • According to every ounce of pre-publicity, Chase Cross only. restored, not a moment too soon, by a public body intent on carving up the borough. That building is Upminster Tithe Barn, built in the mid 15th century on the orders of the Abbot of Waltham Abbey. At 44m it's not quite as long as Harmondsworth's but it is believed to be London's oldest thatched building. It was also in an increasingly poor state, so much so that it was added to Historic England's Heritage At Risk list in 2023, and with its damaged timbers and leaky roof could simply have decayed away. Financial rescue came from a most unlikely place, namely National Highways who contributed £650,000 towards full restoration. A team of master thatchers and other craftspeople started in January and were done by June, and the resulting finish does indeed look splendid. 11,000 bundles of water reed were used to rethatch the roof and it looks properly crisp, like a recently barbered cut. Up top are a particularly striking pair of thatched hares named Willow and Hunter by local schoolchildren, added as a final decorative flourish. Three lightning conductors have been added in the hope that the new fire alarms will never be needed. The intention is to retain the barn for public use, indeed the superbly quirky Museum of Nostalgia is due to be back inside and offering Open Days again next year. As yet nobody's found the cash to install toilets, and if you go along today all you'll see is a smart locked building beside a dusty car park, but this fine survivor is indeed back on the map. Lower Thames Crossing. This is the new road tunnel between Essex and Kent which will scythe off through fields around North Ockendon and help declog the QE2 Bridge, and which was given the financial go-ahead just last week. Grants from the Lower Thames Crossing Designated Funds have been offered to over 50 community projects including Purfleet Heritage Centre, a local Scout Group, a bike skills area in Gravesend and Thurrock LGBTQ+ Network. It may seem perverse to be donating cash allocated to road building to rethatch a barn nowhere near the proposed dual carriageway, indeed a cynic might suggest National Highways are only doing this to take some of the eco-heat out of their hugely controversial tunnel project. But wouldn't it be nice to be able to drive under Gravesend Reach, and aren't those boxing hares superb?
One Stop Beyond: Thames Ditton In this series I'm taking the train one stop beyond the Greater London boundary, getting off and seeing what's there. Today that means Thames Ditton, one stop beyond Surbiton on the Hampton Court line. Obviously it's beside the Thames, in this case on the south bank (in Surrey) opposite the broad sweep of Hampton Court Park (which is in London). Thames Ditton is historic, well-off and quaint, but also post-industrial, over-private and lacking in river. If you live here, well done. Long Ditton to the east, but the two have inexorably coalesced over the years. Thames Ditton got the station which is why you're more likely to have heard of it. That's where I arrived yesterday morning to complete my challenge of visiting every station in London and its outer zones, this being zone 6 which keeps local commuters' fares down. A white-haired lady from Thames Ditton In Bloom was watering the flowerboxes and flowerwheelbarrows on the up platform, whipping open her portable stepladder as necessary, and also being thanked by passing passengers for all the work she was doing. She has horticultural competition from Thames Ditton Men In Sheds who've knocked up three wooden habitats called Bug Halt, Bug Central and Bug Junction in an elevated garden above the ramp opposite. Even before nipping into the cosy waiting room with its small mornings-only cafe and stack of local leaflets, I could tell this was a community that looks after itself with pride. The heart of Thames Ditton is its snaking high street, a cottage-lined thoroughfare that wiggles down to where the ferry used to be. A lot of weatherboarded frontage is still evident, also a couple of old pubs of which Ye Olde Swan is the real deal with a waterfront terrace and a backstory as the site of a Tudor hunting lodge, what with Henry VIII's palace being just across the water. The Red Lion, by contrast, is merely a fine free house with an obsession for hanging baskets. For groceries there's a smart Budgens, the bank has inevitably become an estate agent and for plump pastries it's got to be the Nice Buns Cafe. The top row of the newspaper rack goes 'Telegraph Mail Times Mirror', for what its worth. As for the very long building with the cupola that's a Georgian mansion built for riverside status, later sold for £5000 to an Anglican hospice fleeing from Deptford. For over a century it's been known as the Home of Compassion, even after being sold off as a luxury care home, until last year the owners decided to tone down the mortality angle and glibly rebranded it Thames View instead. Ferry Works, a former boat-building yard that diversified into marine engines in the 1880s. You can track the site's subsequent history through three plaques and a To Let sign... manufactured the revolutionary central valve steam engine, moved to Rugby, the amazing Auto-Carrier car made here, Character Riverside Offices To Let. AC Cars arrived in 1911 to build open 2-seaters, coupés and chuggy saloons, also the first British car ever to win the Monte-Carlo rally. The company spent 75 years in Thames Ditton with its motor works just off the high street, in its later years churning out the pale blue three-wheeled invalid cars that used to crawl the nation's streets. All of that's since become flats, as has the site of the foundry that forged the Quadriga that bestrides Hyde Park Corner - also suitably blue-plaqued. The one scrap of riverside still accessible is a narrow slipway that now doubles up as Ye Old Swan's car park. You can tell access is limited because one workman had chosen to sit amidst the hatchbacks to eat his lunch. This is also the landing point for the footbridge that joins Thames Ditton Island to the mainland, and no you will not be visiting because it's private and the gate has a black pad. The island is 300m long and consists of a single central track faced by 48 detached properties, each of which started out as a weekend bungalow and is now a desirable hideaway with its own individual mooring. Despite being much closer to the south side of the Thames the island had always been part of Middlesex, and only in 1970 did residents manage to be officially relocated to Surrey. Alongside are two much smaller eyots, Boyle Farm Island and Swan Island, whose sum total of two properties get their mail delivered to a red lockup box at the top of the slipway. The Church of St Nicholas has been here since the 12th century, the oldest part of its structure being its broad squat flinty tower. It also contains what may be the oldest font in Surrey, a sturdy stone bowl dating back to 1120 with a carving of the Lamb of God on one side. Above the chancel the oak panels are an even rarer survivor, these depictions of the Day of Judgement from 1520 having somehow escaped destruction during the Reformation. Today the church is very welcoming of visitors so the door will likely be unlocked, or maybe I just got lucky while the Bereavement Cafe was meeting in the church hall. A particularly attractive exterior feature is the path that wends quarter of a mile from here down to the station, known as Church Walk. It's too narrow for vehicles so of the 60 houses only two have parking spaces, which must be fun on removals day, but the Victorian semis and cutesy cottages are so desirable that residents are all too happy to suffer the inconvenience. Vera Fletcher Hall where the local amdrams occasionally put on shows, wove through occasional leftover shards of woodland and eventually found my progress halted by a 90 acre sports ground. This is Imber Court, purchased by the Metropolitan Police Service in 1919 with recreation in mind. Not only is it the home of Metropolitan Police FC, a team who've reached the first round of the FA Cup five times, but also the training centre for the Met's mounted police. Looking across a sea of tennis courts I could see floodlights and the Des Flanders Stand in the far distance... and I presume someone was also watching me. headquarters of the Milk Marketing Board, they of "drinka pinta milka day", until watered down by William Waldegrave in 1994. It's now a housing estate and the MMB's sole local legacy appears to be that they helped pay for Thames Ditton Cricket Club's snazzy pavilion. I should also mention the Thames Ditton Miniature Railway, a teeny straddled treat, but their next open day isn't until 6th July. tip the river was again fenced off and the slipway hidden within a modern boatyard. Instead the local populace are left to make do with City Wharf Open Space, a scrap of waterfront mostly shielded by trees with a brief opening where the full sweep of the main river is finally revealed. The main problem with living round here, it turns out, is rather too much Ditton and nowhere near enough Thames.