More from Miguel Carranza
2024 has come and gone, and it’s time for my annual post. What a year for startups—like squeezing five regular years into one. Do you remember the Apple Vision Pro, the DMA regulation, founder mode, or the o1 launch? All of that happened in just the last twelve months. It’s also been wild at RevenueCat. My journal is full of stories that could fill a whole book or even a few HBO Silicon Valley seasons. Some are inspiring, some are hilarious, and others are honestly gnarly. Due to limited space, the need for context, and respecting everyone’s privacy, I’ll cover only the most interesting topics at a high level. Looking back, it was a good year for RevenueCat. Actually, a great one. Perhaps our best since 2020. We have plenty to celebrate: We accelerated again, and we hit our C10 revenue plan. We made our first acquisition and welcomed an amazing founder to the team. We signed our first multi-million-dollar contracts. We went to more than 20 events around the world… …including hosting our own conference, featuring its own award ceremony. We became the #1 payments SDK on iOS. Our swag went to 11. We launched over 80 user-facing features. We showed up in Times Square and along Highway 101. We raised a mini Series C and welcomed two new board members. We landed in Japan for the first time. Our API grew beyond 2B requests per day. We are processing nearly twice the TAM we had when we started the company. OpenAI is a friend of the cat. We continued building a winning team. We hired people who were on my to work with bucket list even before we started the company. By all the metrics, 2024 was our year of shipping and selling. We absolutely helped developers make more money. My role If you compare our progress to the goals I wrote about in last year’s blog post, it’s clear we succeeded. But the journey itself was a lot rockier than I had imagined. Many things didn’t go as planned, somes hires did not work out, and some strategy changes were really hard to push through. At the start of the year, besides my usual responsibilities, I also set four personal goals to help me scale with the company. I wanted to: Ship code more consistently. Talk to at least one customer every single day. Get more involved in areas outside of engineering. Stay very close to my co-founder Jacob, giving him my full support. I completely missed goal #1. Honestly, that hurts because I love building software. But I’m not too upset about it—our customers care that the team ships, not that I personally do. And in a way, I did help the team ship. As for the other three goals, I hit them, at least based on the company’s results. Still, my self-perception wasn’t always great. I found myself acting much more like a co-founder/executive than a CTO. Some weeks were brutal, with constant context switching across tasks and teams I didn’t always enjoy. At one point, there were over 60 people in my org, spread all around the world, which is pretty intense for an introverted computer kid. A lot of bullshit escalates to the top, making me question my entire existence some days. And then life threw serious personal emergencies at some of our team members too. Like I said last year, life is what happens when you’re busy building your startup. As we got closer to 100 people, it was statistically unavoidable that we’d face a few life-changing traumas—sometimes several all at once. As a founder, you need to be supportive and empathetic, but also protect your mental health. As a human, it’s tough. Add in a couple of two-year-olds who were often sick and not sleeping, and it felt like a ticking bomb. Did I burn out for the first time in my life? I don’t think so, but it got close. I’m confident being a founder (and having a co-founder) kept me going. I care too much and must stay resilient. If I’d been just an employee, I might have tapped out. But enough about the tough parts. Aside from being a professional BS handler, here’s how I spent most of my time: Lots of travel This was the year I traveled the most in my life—and looking back, I probably should have traveled even more. I visited customers, helped with sales, conducted executive interviews, and spoke at a few conferences. It’s hard being away from two little kids, but each trip turned out to be worth it. Support One of my biggest worries this year was our support function. Everything was fine, but our Support Engineering Manager was going on parental leave, and the bus factor was scary. I’ve seen support crises before—they’re not fun. It wouldn’t have killed the company, but at our size, it might have forced us to pull senior engineers into support and slow down our product velocity. Time was short, so we tried a few things that worked: We hired two new Developer Support Engineers who already knew our product—former customers! Their onboarding was smooth, and they hit the ground running. We split the support team into two pods with their own leads. Each pod handles certain tickets, and they collaborate with each other instead of relying too heavily on one person. We finally set up our first on-call rotation for emergencies. Sales and post-sales Reviewing sales and implementation calls, giving technical input, collecting enterprise customer feedback for product and engineering, joining calls, and even doing some in-person visits. Writing more As our team continues to grow across the globe, not everyone has the same direct interaction with me or Jacob as before. A lot of our culture and collaboration style was once passed through observation, but now needs to be written down to reach everyone faster. These days, my code editor is basically replaced by Google Docs. I’ve been publishing more internal and external documents—like our Engineering Strategy and an updated How to Work with Miguel. Product delivery We still have a few details to refine, but our founder Shipping and Timeline reviews have been valuable. It gives Jacob and me a high-level view of everything in progress, lets us offer feedback, and helps us dig deeper where needed. It’s a great way to see each team’s capacity, find bottlenecks, keep a sense of urgency, and deflate anything that’s not truly important for the customers. Re-orgs This year brought a couple of big reorgs in product and engineering. Overall, they went well, but the puzzle gets more complex with each new piece. We created sub-teams to narrow their focus and keep things running smoothly. For the first time, we had a couple of management layers between me and our ICs. One major change was shutting down our Enterprise/Reactive team. The idea was solid at first, and they delivered plenty of value, but eventually they became the random tasks team. Our new plan is to reinforce the rest of the teams: quick enterprise requests go to the right team to handle them reactively, while bigger projects move to the main roadmap (which keeps us disciplined). The engineers from that old team will help bootstrap new teams as we hire in 2025. Hiring Our engineering hiring goals weren’t super ambitious, but we still reached them. The pace was a bit uneven, and some roles took longer to fill than desired. However, when Hiring Managers took ownership of the process (with recruiting as a support) it made a huge difference in the quality of our candidates. We also brought back the founder interview stage: Jacob or I spoke with every single candidate before making an offer, and we plan to keep doing this for the foreseeable future. Random founder stuff Not my main focus, but I still spent a fair amount of time handling people-related topics, operations, investor, customers and partners relations, fundraising, company policies, planning, etc. Learnings: deepened insights On culture Shipping is king. Yes, deadlines are stressful, but failing to ship and getting stuck in endless debates is far worse. It’s depressing. If someone isn’t a good culture fit, it will be more than a single incident. Over time, it becomes pretty clear to everyone. Top performers tend to measure themselves against the very best in the company. Reassure them they are doing a great job. On the other hand, those who underperform will look to other underperformers to gauge their own progress. Even top performers will struggle if they don’t fully align with the vision. Nothing beats talking to customers. Encourage everyone to do it. Better in person. Most managers don’t have a strong incentive to be strict, so finding the right balance takes a lot of calibration. Only once everyone is aligned, you can truly delegate. On hiring Managers hate hiring because it’s binary: a lot of “no”, but eventually one “yes” can change everything. Staying consistent really helps. Simple things, such as weekly updates keep everyone accountable. People management sucks. If someone’s main motivation is to be a manager for the title, or so they can “lead,” that’s a red flag for me. Best managers end up being those who never planned on becoming one in the first place. They actually roll up their sleeves and can do the work. Big ideas are great, but they need to be executed. This matters even more when it comes to executives. A truly great exec can change your life and it will feel like a brand new company. Given their influence, anything less than great will eventually turn into a big mess. Spend time with executive candidates in person. Watch how they work and make sure they’re real builders. Previous founders and true engineers are usually a little bit de-risked, but they’re still not guaranteed. I also like to write a very detailed onboarding doc, clarifying context, expectations, and what success or failure looks like. Having them write a 30/60/90-day plan helps us all align. I’ve learned not to rely on their past pedigree. The real key is their glass eating endurance. On company building Re-orgs are inevitable at a growing startup, and they will feel scary or emotional for people who aren’t used to them. I find it helpful to be super clear about why we’re doing it, and to share the fallback plan if things don’t work out. But I’ve learned that by the time you think you need a re-org, you’re already behind. We now plan to reassess our team structure twice a year for optimal shipping. A numeric goal (like an SLA or revenue target) is just a proxy. Missing it isn’t the end of the world if you learn in the process. But if you surpass it without recognizing what’s broken underneath, you’ll be masking critical issues. Perfectionists are great, but can have a tough time at startups. Some do fine if they’re focused on one specific thing or working as an IC. But as soon as they have to juggle multiple tasks, the chaos can feel overwhelming. Help them embrace it. Things will break. It’s about continuously reprioritizing, and stopping small cracks from becoming big fires. No agenda == no meeting. Synchronous time is expensive. The only exception is the occasional unscheduled call. After you reach around 50 people (especially in a remote setup), documenting every process change becomes crucial. I’ve learned the hard way that simply talking about a new process isn’t enough. Founders can’t talk to everyone all the time anymore, and misunderstandings or gossip can spread fast. Not everyone will read everything, but at least there’s a single source of truth to reference. Best people can stretch quite a bit—they’ll often rise to the challenge. But it’s wise to keep an eye on their limits before they burn out or become a bottleneck. On scaling as a founder A great EA is life-changing. Family will be supportive, but it’s not fair to offload all the stress on them. They will end up feeling helpless. Having a solid co-founder, a network of peers, or a good executive coach makes a world of difference. Founders are the ultimate guardians of the culture. It’s constant work, and it will feel relentless—especially when things are going well and it’s easy to get entitled. The best team members will help uphold the standard, but you cannot expect them to do all the policing. At this stage, it’s stupid not to level up your lifestyle in ways that reduce stress or save time. This might include childcare support, having a second car, investing in a better mattress, or hiring help with housekeeping. The startup is bigger than its founders, and the goal is to continuously remove yourself from the critical path. Still, it’s easy to forget that, as a founder, you literally brought everything into existence from thin air. Imposter syndrome often creeps in when you step outside your core expertise, but if your gut feeling is strong, it’s worth paying attention to. Stay open-minded, yet remember that no one knows the company quite like you do. The future Next year is going to be another big one. We’ll keep shipping and selling, while finally tackling our design and UX debt. We’ll keep investing heavily in our infrastructure. Not just for reliability, but also for real-time data. We want RevenueCat to feel fast, accurate, and easy to use. We’re also upgrading our self-serve and enterprise support, aiming for a truly world-class experience. In many ways, we’re finally seeing the original vision Jacob and I had back in 2017 come to life. We’ll be launching new product lines too, and if we execute well, we will be just a couple of years away from hitting $100M in revenue. We’ll keep building a winning team. We’ll hire about 45 people, 30 in Engineering, Product, and Design. It’s a challenge, but totally doable. As for me, my personal goals haven’t changed much, but my perspective has. Jacob and I used to joke that being happy and winning can’t happen at the same time. But why not? We’re in a privileged position to shape our own path and change anything we don’t like. After a lot of reflection and coaching, I realized I was simply too hard on myself. I was feeling depressed by the constant BS even though we were winning. A hack that helped was working with my EA to set weekly goals and then sending a public update to the full team. It let me see the real progress behind all the drama and back-to-back meetings and stay transparent with everyone. Next year, I’ll avoid meetings before 9 AM, keep an eye on calendar creep, and hold myself accountable to exercise and doing what helps me decompress. I know, it’s obvious. I also plan to travel more. Especially to the Bay Area, which is clearly back again. Meeting up with other founders and customers is always worthwhile. Another thing that made last year tough was having half my direct reports on parental leave for about half of the year. Now they’re back, and I can feel the momentum returning. Jacob has also taken over product again, now that he’s stepped away from directly owning operations and people. Increased shipping velocity has been noticeable. We have all the pieces in place. All that’s left is to keep pushing forward: shipping, selling and enjoying the ride. If there’s one thing I learned in Silicon Valley, it’s that no goal is too crazy if you refuse to give up. I really hope you enjoyed reading this post. As always, my intention was to share it with complete honesty and transparency, avoiding the hype that often surrounds startups. If you are facing similar challenges and want to connect and share experiences, please do not hesitate to reach out on Twitter or shoot me an email! Special thanks to my co-founder Jacob, my EA Susannah, the whole RevenueCat team, and our valuable customers. I also need to express my eternal gratitude to all the CTOs and leaders who have been kind enough to share their experiences over these years. Shoutout to Dani Lopez, Peter Silberman, Alex Plugaru, Kwindla Hultman Kramer, João Batalha, Karri Saarinen, Miguel Martinez Triviño, Javi Santana, Matias Woloski, Tobias Balling, Jason Warner, and Will Larson. Our investors and early believers Jason Lemkin, Anu Hariharan, Mark Fiorentino, Mark Goldberg, Andrew Maguire, Gustaf Alströmer, Sofia Dolfie, and Nico Wittenborn. I want to convey my deep gratitude to my amazing wife, Marina, who has been my unwavering source of inspiration and support from the very beginning, and for blessing us with our two precious daughters. I cannot close this post without thanking my mom, who made countless sacrifices to mold me into the person I am today. I promise you will look down on us with pride the day we ring the bell in New York. I love you dearly.
I’m back in Spain for my brother’s wedding. I rarely visit during the summer. The heat in my hometown is brutal, around 40 degrees Celsius (over 100 Fahrenheit for my imperial friends). Most people escape to the coast, just like my family did when I was a kid. I haven’t been here in years. As I drive along the coast, I find myself reflecting on a tweet about money and happiness, a vivid memory pulls me back in time. It’s August 22nd, 2007. The iPhone, the first real smartphone, has just been announced. It’s so cool, but of course I cannot afford it. It’s not even going to be released in Spain. I’ve just gotten my driver’s license, and I’m about to dive into my third year of Computer Science. I set up my clunky TomTom navigator knockoff, and hit the road. I’m on my way to meet Marina for our first real date. She’s cool, pretty, and kind. She likes the same music as I do, and even has distant relatives in California, the place we jokingly plan to visit someday (if I ever get enough cash). I’m listening to a pirated Blink-182’s self-titled CD. Pop-punk is pretty niche in the south of Spain, and it’s dying. Blink-182 has split up, and I missed my window to see my favorite band live. The Atlantic Ocean is as flat as a lake. This corner of Huelva’s coast is sheltered from any real waves, a stark contrast to the world-class surf breaks I drool over in magazines. And suddenly, reality hits: my childhood dreams of building a tech company in Silicon Valley, while vacationing in Southern California feel impossibly far. Even getting through my degree feels like a pipe dream. School isn’t fun anymore. It’s grueling, especially the parts I thought I’d enjoy, like algorithms and Data Structures. I might never become a Software Engineer. I feel stuck, trapped by my lack of direction. I am seriously considering quitting. But no degree means no job in the US, and good tech gigs are rare here in Spain. The only cool company is Tuenti, a new startup that is cloning Facebook. I’m nowhere near smart enough to land a job there though. Flash forward to today, 17 years later. It’s almost laughable to think about how hopeless things once seemed. Even now, it doesn’t feel like I’ve “made it.” The path and the results look nothing like what teenage me envisioned, but somehow, I’m realizing I’ve kind of checked off every box. I married Marina, and we live in Southern California with our two beautiful identical kids. We’ve become American citizens, and I’ve lived in the Golden State for nearly a third of my life. I’ve worked as a Software Engineer at a Silicon Valley startup, learned from the best, and found the best co-founder I could ask for. We launched our own company. Smartphones? They’re in everyone’s pockets now. Our product is in a third of all new apps shipped in the US. We’ve helped developers reach millionaire status, and we’ve made more money than I ever thought possible. But I’ve learned that a lot of money is a relative term. Somehow, I managed to hire insanely talented engineers—a bunch of them, ironically, from Tuenti. Blink-182 is back together, and I’ve been fortunate enough to see them live five times. I’ve even bumped into Tom Delonge after surfing world-class waves a few times. I’m literally just realizing how surreal all of this is. I tend to get caught up in the chaos of what’s next—the next big fire, the next goal—but sometimes you’ve got to stop, be present, and reflect on how far you’ve come. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t without loss, sacrifice, and a fair share of doubts. Am I truly happy? Maybe not in a perfect, all-the-time kind of way. There are external things humans cannot control. But when I look at my life, I realize there’s no real reason not to be. The journey has been was worth it so far: the ups, the downs, the unexpected turns. So, here’s to your journey, whatever it looks like. Keep going, keep dreaming. It might not turn out the way you envisioned it, but it’s only impossible if you quit.
I am drafting this post at 35,000 feet flying back from Japan. I’ve entered the US about 30 times, but this will be the first time I’ll be using my shiny blue passport. No anxiety about aggressive questions, secondary inspection, or the possibility of deportation. A couple of days ago, my wife had her naturalization ceremony, and with her, our whole family is now American. This post is a reflecting on our 11-year immigration journey. My American Dream My story with technology started at 8, with my first computer. I fell in love and decided that one day I would start a computer business. And of course, it would have to be in Silicon Valley, the epicenter of innovation. I grew up influenced by the iconic Californian lifestyle of the 90s, from Tony Hawk to bands like Blink-182 and The Offspring, which only fueled my desire to call the West Coast home. As I finished my Computer Science studies, the reality of achieving my American dream seemed increasingly distant. My enthusiasm for the Californian way of life hadn’t waned — I had started surfing and I was even playing in a pop-punk band. But the immigration complexities were too daunting. It looked impossible. I decided to study a Master’s Degree in the UK and reinforce my English. Right before completing my degree in England, I was offered a six-month internship at a startup in San Francisco. Financially, it was not the smartest decision — I would barely be able to afford rent, despite having better paid options in Europe. However, experiencing Silicon Valley was a lifelong dream. It wasn’t an obvious choice. But I ultimately packed my suitcase, left behind my family, girlfriend and friends, and relocated across the world. Landing in California My journey in the U.S. began with a J1 visa, intended for interns and relatively simple to secure with an employer’s backing. It was a suitable fit for my six-month plan, extendable to a full year, without any ambition for a longer stay. Yet, I worked extremely hard, and the situation changed when I was introduced to the possibility of obtaining an H-1B visa. Unlike the J1, the H-1B visa demands wage parity with U.S. citizens, allows for a stay of up to six years, and paves the way for permanent residency. Most importantly, it meant I could start laying down roots in the US, such as building my credit score, buying a car, or negotiating a long-term lease. First Immigration Problems My living situation dramatically improved when I traded my small, rat-filled room for a two-bedroom apartment in the Outer Sunset, sharing the space with a friend. I got a sizeable salary bump. However, the happiness was short-lived. H-1B visa applications had exceeded available spots for the first time in years, introducing a lottery. My coding skills, education, and value to my employer wouldn’t factor into this gamble. Anxiety mounted for a very long month, as friends celebrated their visa wins. I was left in the dark, bracing for bad news. Against the odds, relief came just a day after a disheartening talk with my immigration lawyer, granting me my first taste of luck. Reuniting with my girlfriend Sick. My H-1B visa approval meant I could make the US my home for six additional years, longer than Marina and I had been dating. As she was about to end her studies, we strategized on ways to reunite in the US. Marrying earlier was an option, but with H-1B restrictions preventing spouses from working, we looked for alternatives. The easiest path forward involved securing a student visa, leading to an 12-month work permit, followed by an H-1B visa application. In the competitive climate of 2015, her work visa acceptance felt nothing short of miraculous, becoming our story’s second lucky strike. Permanent Residency While six years might seem long, they pass quickly when you are busy and having fun. Halfway through, it became clear we needed to strategize for the future when it was time to renew my visa. My employer agreed to initiate the Green Card application, a lengthy and costly process requiring proof that I was indispensable for the company. Despite the complexities, our attorney believed the case would progress smoothly, estimating an 18-month completion time. Surprisingly, the initial phase went way faster than anticipated, prompting our attorney to suggest an immediate wedding for Marina and me, a necessary step to include her in the Green Card application. We quickly scheduled our wedding at the Spanish Consulate in San Francisco, departing from our original plan for a ceremony in Spain. More problems A year and a half in, expecting our Green Cards, we faced an unexpected challenge: our marriage, officiated at a consulate, was not recognized by US Immigration, compelling us to marry again, pay the associated fees again, and start the process over. This development was extremely frustrating, specially as my friend Jacob and I were contemplating founding a company, and the absence of a Green Card meant remaining as an employee. To rectify the situation, we promptly got remarried at San Mateo City Hall, choosing it for its rapid scheduling. Two months later we held another ceremony in Spain with our family and friends (our third marriage overall). The delay in our reapplication, exacerbated by the recent election of Trump and a subsequent slowdown in immigration services, led us into a stressful period of uncertainty. Our inability to make definite plans, from household purchases to housing arrangements left us anxiously awaiting any news on our application. As we navigated this uncertainty, the possibility of dedicating myself fully to our startup (later named RevenueCat) became increasingly dim. Going All In A pivotal moment came when our now startup, RevenueCat, was accepted into Y Combinator, requiring my full-time commitment. A big challenge due to my pending Green Card application. My immigration status became the biggest risk to our startup, even before launching. In searching for a solution, we identified a potential hack: an immigration loophole that allowed for employment changes under specific circumstances. It wasn’t risk free. There were no guarantees, and it involved giving up my H-1B status and the ability to travel. Should my Green Card application face rejection for any reason, I would instantly become an illegal immigrant. Deciding to take the gamble, we prepared the necessary documentation. To support our case, Jacob, my co-founder, had to write a letter stating that although my compensation was on the lower side, his, in the CEO role, was even lower. We also had to declare our company’s annual earnings ($0 at that time), and I suggested Jacob to specify it as less than $1 million. You should never lie to Homeland Security 😅. This leap of faith paid off; eight months later, we received our Green Card interview, where the immigration officer, making fun of our unique circumstances, granted approval on the spot. The Decision to Become American Those with an employment-based Green Card need a five-year stay in the US, compliant with all laws and tax requirements, to qualify for citizenship. While obtaining citizenship is not mandatory, and one might choose to stay a permanent resident indefinitely, citizenship confers full rights and responsibilities. Among these, the requirement to pay federal taxes forever, a big concern for many. If RevenueCat succeeds as we hope, I’m looking at significant tax payments, even if we end up moving back to Europe. The decision to embrace US citizenship came down to a simple reason: we can. We recognize the privilege of this choice, acknowledging the series of fortunate events that brought us here, aware that our journey could have taken decades had we originated from countries like India or China. Our twin daughters are blessed with dual citizenship, offering them a breadth of choices for their future. The opportunities the US has presented to our family are beyond what we once could dream. By becoming citizens, we gain a voice to influence immigration policies positively instead of blocking progress. My tax contributions have already reached the seven-figure mark. The continuation of our tax obligation is a small price to pay. And after all, there are some advantageous double taxation agreements 😉. Special thanks to my family for always supporting me and pushing me to live my dream in San Francisco. To Marina, my now wife, for joining me in this crazy adventure across the globe. To everyone at StepOne for running an amazing internship program. To Jesse, for believing in my potential and tackling the immigration challenges with me. And to my co-founder Jacob, for pushing me to take a leap of faith with my immigration status.
Since reading ‘High Growth Handbook’ by Elad Gil, the value of writing a ‘Working with’ document became crystal clear to me. I am sharing mine externally to inspire other founders and leaders to reflect and write down their own working styles. These documents are incredibly beneficial, especially in a multi-timezone, remote setting like we have at RevenueCat. I’ve spent some time fine-tuning mine, and this is the updated version. Welcome to your go-to manual for understanding how to collaborate effectively with me. My Mindset: Logic-Driven, Plan-Oriented I’m a logical thinker, much like a computer. If A implies B and we have A, I’ll typically conclude B. Sticking to plans and predictability is my comfort zone, yet I value reactivity, especially when customer-related issues arise and are solvable. This company isn’t just a job for me; it’s my life’s work. I’m deeply invested in everything here — our technology, culture, team, and customers. I get inspired and energized by hard-working coworkers who believe in our mission even more than me. As a co-founder, I can offer a wealth of institutional knowledge and guidance. While I may not have all the answers, I’m usually good at pointing you in the right direction. RevenueCat is only a sum of it’s parts. Our teammates drive our culture and I want to make sure we are building a place that people want to be. If you have a suggestion on how to make RevenueCat an even cooler place to work for our teammates I’m always here to talk about it. How We’ll Operate Regular Check-ins: For my direct reports, expect weekly or bi-weekly one-on-one meetings. To make our discussions more focused, I prefer that we establish an agenda before our scheduled time together. Communication Protocols: My schedule doesn’t allow much room for impromptu calls. If something urgent pops up, message me on Slack first. Should it require a call, schedule it through Susannah, please never bypass her. Meeting Preparation: Come to meetings with an agenda to ensure productivity. Without one, I might dominate the conversation, potentially missing your crucial points. Let’s both be responsible for following up on action items. Team Support: I’m open to joining other team meetings, but please share the agenda in advance and mark my attendance as optional unless crucial. Problem-Solving Approach: My engineering background means I love tackling complex problems using a divide and conquer approach: by breaking them down into smaller, manageable chunks, solving each piece, and then combining them for a final solution. If we can improve a completely broken system to 90% functionality, that’s significant progress in my book! Communication Style Note-Taking: While I take meticulous notes, my current preferred tool doesn’t support sharing. If you wish to access these notes, it’s on you to set up a shared document in Google Docs, Notion, or Lattice. Information Filtering: I prefer having complete transparency and the ability to filter out unnecessary details myself. Always explicitly state if you need input from me, or else I’ll assume it’s for my information only. Feedback Style: Expect direct feedback from me. I’ll clearly differentiate between areas for improvement and significant performance concerns. Trust Dynamics: Consider my trust like a metaphorical ‘bucket’ that starts half-full for everyone and adjusts based on your actions. The more you fill this bucket, the more autonomy you’ll have. For Managers Transparency in Challenges: Startups are always broken one way or another. I prefer to hear any bad news about a project or a team member directly from you. Working together through challenges can strengthen our trust and working relationship. Progress and Concerns: During our 1:1’s, I’ll inquire about your team dynamics and direct reports’ progress. I encourage you to include any details in our 1:1 agenda and lead the conversation to address any performance concerns, project delays or notable achievements . Feedback Dynamics: I recognize the weight of my title. To avoid unnecessary tension, I prefer to provide critical feedback about your reports directly to you so you can address privately. On the other hand, if there is any commendable achievement by your team I will do my best to praise publicly. If you feel there is someone on your team that I should connect with or praise, please let me know. Encouraging our team and recognizing their strengths is something that is very important to me. Preferences and Pet Peeves What I like Doing your homework: No question is stupid, but always do your initial research before distracting the team. Being resolutive: Getting things done, unblocking yourself. Readable and consistent code. Proven, boring technology over unproven open source projects that is trending on Hacker News. Proactivity: See a problem? Fix it right away before anyone notices. Made a mistake? Build systems to prevent anyone else making the same one again. Double checking your work: Give your work (documents, presentations, pull requests) a quick self-review before presenting it to the team. Transparency: In a multi-tz, remote environment, over-communication is better than miscommunication. Healthy discussions. When there is a decision to make that is not clear, it’s because all the different approaches have pros and cons. Together we will be able to calibrate and choose the lesser evil. A short call (or loom) is preferred over constant Slack interruptions. What I don’t like Gossip and rumors: They destroy the culture. Be upfront. Cargo cult: Let’s not do something just because BIG CO does it. That’s the beauty of building something from scratch. Unnecessary blockers. You’re all pretty smart here! Always try to unblock yourself first. Lack of context in questions, emails, and discussions. Not speaking up when something isn’t clear. Recurrent mistakes or questions: One time, it’s totally expected. Two times, hmm. Three times, nah. Learn, document, and build systems. Complaining without taking any action to improve the situation. Sarcasm or other ways of communication violence during disagreements: When somebody wins an argument, most of the time, the whole team loses. Acknowledging My Flaws Overcommitment: I tend to take on more than I should, which inevitably affects my focus. While I’m working on this, please understand if I occasionally get sidetracked by emergencies. Communication while Debugging: When addressing issues, I might share unvalidated hypotheses, which can be confusing. I’m learning to communicate more clearly and only after verifying my thoughts. Problem-Solving Obsession: Unsolved problems keep me up at night, which isn’t ideal for my well-being. It’s a habit I’m aware of and trying to balance. Pessimistic Tendencies: In evaluating problems, I often veer towards catastrophic thinking rather than optimism, a trait I’m mindful of and trying to moderate. Office Hours To maximize my availability given my tight schedule, I’ve introduced ‘office hours.’ This time is open for anyone to schedule a 15-minute chat with me about any concerns or ideas you might have. Reach out to Susannah for scheduling details. Thanks for sticking with me till the end! These are my personal preferences, not commandments carved in stone. I’m stoked to collaborate, build awesome stuff, and, above all, have fun together!
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As I slowly but surely work towards the next release of my setcmd project for the Amiga (see the 68k branch for the gory details and my total noob-like C flailing around), I’ve made heavy use of documentation in the AmigaGuide format. Despite it’s age, it’s a great Amiga-native format and there’s a wealth of great information out there for things like the C API, as well as language guides and tutorials for tools like the Installer utility - and the AmigaGuide markup syntax itself. The only snag is, I had to have access to an Amiga (real or emulated), or install one of the various viewer programs on my laptops. Because like many, I spend a lot of time in a web browser and occasionally want to check something on my mobile phone, this is less than convenient. Fortunately, there’s a great AmigaGuideJS online viewer which renders AmigaGuide format documents using Javascript. I’ve started building up a collection of useful developer guides and other files in my own reference library so that I can access this documentation whenever I’m not at my Amiga or am coding in my “modern” dev environment. It’s really just for my own personal use, but I’ll be adding to it whenever I come across a useful piece of documentation so I hope it’s of some use to others as well! And on a related note, I now have a “unified” code-base so that SetCmd now builds and runs on 68k-based OS 3.x systems as well as OS 4.x PPC systems like my X5000. I need to: Tidy up my code and fix all the “TODO” stuff Update the Installer to run on OS 3.x systems Update the documentation Build a new package and upload to Aminet/OS4Depot Hopefully I’ll get that done in the next month or so. With the pressures of work and family life (and my other hobbies), progress has been a lot slower these last few years but I’m still really enjoying working on Amiga code and it’s great to have a fun personal project that’s there for me whenever I want to hack away at something for the sheer hell of it. I’ve learned a lot along the way and the AmigaOS is still an absolute joy to develop for. I even brought my X5000 to the most recent Kickstart Amiga User Group BBQ/meetup and had a fun day working on the code with fellow Amigans and enjoying some classic gaming & demos - there was also a MorphOS machine there, which I think will be my next target as the codebase is slowly becoming more portable. Just got to find some room in the “retro cave” now… This stuff is addictive :)
A little while back I heard about the White House launching their version of a Drudge Report style website called White House Wire. According to Axios, a White House official said the site’s purpose was to serve as “a place for supporters of the president’s agenda to get the real news all in one place”. So a link blog, if you will. As a self-professed connoisseur of websites and link blogs, this got me thinking: “I wonder what kind of links they’re considering as ‘real news’ and what they’re linking to?” So I decided to do quick analysis using Quadratic, a programmable spreadsheet where you can write code and return values to a 2d interface of rows and columns. I wrote some JavaScript to: Fetch the HTML page at whitehouse.gov/wire Parse it with cheerio Select all the external links on the page Return a list of links and their headline text In a few minutes I had a quick analysis of what kind of links were on the page: This immediately sparked my curiosity to know more about the meta information around the links, like: If you grouped all the links together, which sites get linked to the most? What kind of interesting data could you pull from the headlines they’re writing, like the most frequently used words? What if you did this analysis, but with snapshots of the website over time (rather than just the current moment)? So I got to building. Quadratic today doesn’t yet have the ability for your spreadsheet to run in the background on a schedule and append data. So I had to look elsewhere for a little extra functionality. My mind went to val.town which lets you write little scripts that can 1) run on a schedule (cron), 2) store information (blobs), and 3) retrieve stored information via their API. After a quick read of their docs, I figured out how to write a little script that’ll run once a day, scrape the site, and save the resulting HTML page in their key/value storage. From there, I was back to Quadratic writing code to talk to val.town’s API and retrieve my HTML, parse it, and turn it into good, structured data. There were some things I had to do, like: Fine-tune how I select all the editorial links on the page from the source HTML (I didn’t want, for example, to include external links to the White House’s social pages which appear on every page). This required a little finessing, but I eventually got a collection of links that corresponded to what I was seeing on the page. Parse the links and pull out the top-level domains so I could group links by domain occurrence. Create charts and graphs to visualize the structured data I had created. Selfish plug: Quadratic made this all super easy, as I could program in JavaScript and use third-party tools like tldts to do the analysis, all while visualizing my output on a 2d grid in real-time which made for a super fast feedback loop! Once I got all that done, I just had to sit back and wait for the HTML snapshots to begin accumulating! It’s been about a month and a half since I started this and I have about fifty days worth of data. The results? Here’s the top 10 domains that the White House Wire links to (by occurrence), from May 8 to June 24, 2025: youtube.com (133) foxnews.com (72) thepostmillennial.com (67) foxbusiness.com (66) breitbart.com (64) x.com (63) reuters.com (51) truthsocial.com (48) nypost.com (47) dailywire.com (36) From the links, here’s a word cloud of the most commonly recurring words in the link headlines: “trump” (343) “president” (145) “us” (134) “big” (131) “bill” (127) “beautiful” (113) “trumps” (92) “one” (72) “million” (57) “house” (56) The data and these graphs are all in my spreadsheet, so I can open it up whenever I want to see the latest data and re-run my script to pull the latest from val.town. In response to the new data that comes in, the spreadsheet automatically parses it, turn it into links, and updates the graphs. Cool! If you want to check out the spreadsheet — sorry! My API key for val.town is in it (“secrets management” is on the roadmap). But I created a duplicate where I inlined the data from the API (rather than the code which dynamically pulls it) which you can check out here at your convenience. Email · Mastodon · Bluesky
One of the first types we learn about is the boolean. It's pretty natural to use, because boolean logic underpins much of modern computing. And yet, it's one of the types we should probably be using a lot less of. In almost every single instance when you use a boolean, it should be something else. The trick is figuring out what "something else" is. Doing this is worth the effort. It tells you a lot about your system, and it will improve your design (even if you end up using a boolean). There are a few possible types that come up often, hiding as booleans. Let's take a look at each of these, as well as the case where using a boolean does make sense. This isn't exhaustive—[1]there are surely other types that can make sense, too. Datetimes A lot of boolean data is representing a temporal event having happened. For example, websites often have you confirm your email. This may be stored as a boolean column, is_confirmed, in the database. It makes a lot of sense. But, you're throwing away data: when the confirmation happened. You can instead store when the user confirmed their email in a nullable column. You can still get the same information by checking whether the column is null. But you also get richer data for other purposes. Maybe you find out down the road that there was a bug in your confirmation process. You can use these timestamps to check which users would be affected by that, based on when their confirmation was stored. This is the one I've seen discussed the most of all these. We run into it with almost every database we design, after all. You can detect it by asking if an action has to occur for the boolean to change values, and if values can only change one time. If you have both of these, then it really looks like it is a datetime being transformed into a boolean. Store the datetime! Enums Much of the remaining boolean data indicates either what type something is, or its status. Is a user an admin or not? Check the is_admin column! Did that job fail? Check the failed column! Is the user allowed to take this action? Return a boolean for that, yes or no! These usually make more sense as an enum. Consider the admin case: this is really a user role, and you should have an enum for it. If it's a boolean, you're going to eventually need more columns, and you'll keep adding on other statuses. Oh, we had users and admins, but now we also need guest users and we need super-admins. With an enum, you can add those easily. enum UserRole { User, Admin, Guest, SuperAdmin, } And then you can usually use your tooling to make sure that all the new cases are covered in your code. With a boolean, you have to add more booleans, and then you have to make sure you find all the places where the old booleans were used and make sure they handle these new cases, too. Enums help you avoid these bugs. Job status is one that's pretty clearly an enum as well. If you use booleans, you'll have is_failed, is_started, is_queued, and on and on. Or you could just have one single field, status, which is an enum with the various statuses. (Note, though, that you probably do want timestamp fields for each of these events—but you're still best having the status stored explicitly as well.) This begins to resemble a state machine once you store the status, and it means that you can make much cleaner code and analyze things along state transition lines. And it's not just for storing in a database, either. If you're checking a user's permissions, you often return a boolean for that. fn check_permissions(user: User) -> bool { false // no one is allowed to do anything i guess } In this case, true means the user can do it and false means they can't. Usually. I think. But you can really start to have doubts here, and with any boolean, because the application logic meaning of the value cannot be inferred from the type. Instead, this can be represented as an enum, even when there are just two choices. enum PermissionCheck { Allowed, NotPermitted(reason: String), } As a bonus, though, if you use an enum? You can end up with richer information, like returning a reason for a permission check failing. And you are safe for future expansions of the enum, just like with roles. You can detect when something should be an enum a proliferation of booleans which are mutually exclusive or depend on one another. You'll see multiple columns which are all changed at the same time. Or you'll see a boolean which is returned and used for a long time. It's important to use enums here to keep your program maintainable and understandable. Conditionals But when should we use a boolean? I've mainly run into one case where it makes sense: when you're (temporarily) storing the result of a conditional expression for evaluation. This is in some ways an optimization, either for the computer (reuse a variable[2]) or for the programmer (make it more comprehensible by giving a name to a big conditional) by storing an intermediate value. Here's a contrived example where using a boolean as an intermediate value. fn calculate_user_data(user: User, records: RecordStore) { // this would be some nice long conditional, // but I don't have one. So variables it is! let user_can_do_this: bool = (a && b) && (c || !d); if user_can_do_this && records.ready() { // do the thing } else if user_can_do_this && records.in_progress() { // do another thing } else { // and something else! } } But even here in this contrived example, some enums would make more sense. I'd keep the boolean, probably, simply to give a name to what we're calculating. But the rest of it should be a match on an enum! * * * Sure, not every boolean should go away. There's probably no single rule in software design that is always true. But, we should be paying a lot more attention to booleans. They're sneaky. They feel like they make sense for our data, but they make sense for our logic. The data is usually something different underneath. By storing a boolean as our data, we're coupling that data tightly to our application logic. Instead, we should remain critical and ask what data the boolean depends on, and should we maybe store that instead? It comes easier with practice. Really, all good design does. A little thinking up front saves you a lot of time in the long run. I know that using an em-dash is treated as a sign of using LLMs. LLMs are never used for my writing. I just really like em-dashes and have a dedicated key for them on one of my keyboard layers. ↩ This one is probably best left to the compiler. ↩
SumatraPDF is a fast, small, open-source PDF reader for Windows, written in C++. This article describes how I implemented StrVec class for efficiently storing multiple strings. Much ado about the strings Strings are among the most used types in most programs. Arrays of strings are also used often. I count ~80 uses of StrVec in SumatraPDF code. This article describes how I implemented an optimized array of strings in SumatraPDF C++ code . No STL for you Why not use std::vector<std::string>? In SumatraPDF I don’t use STL. I don’t use std::string, I don’t use std::vector. For me it’s a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom. As described here, minimum size of std::string on 64-bit machines is 32 bytes for msvc / gcc and 24 bytes for short strings (15 chars for msvc / gcc, 22 chars for clang). For longer strings we have more overhead: 32⁄24 bytes for the header memory allocator overhead allocator metadata padding due to rounding allocations to at least 16 bytes There’s also std::vector overhead: for fast appends (push()) std::vectorimplementations over-allocated space Longer strings are allocated at random addresses so they can be spread out in memory. That is bad for cache locality and that often cause more slowness than executing lots of instructions. Design and implementation of StrVec StrVec (vector of strings) solves all of the above: per-string overhead of only 8 bytes strings are laid out next to each other in memory StrVec High level design of StrVec: backing memory is allocated in singly-linked pages similar to std::vector, we start with small page and increase the size of the page. This strikes a balance between speed of accessing a string at random index and wasted space unlike std::vector we don’t reallocate memory (most of the time). That saves memory copy when re-allocating backing space Here’s all there is to StrVec: struct StrVec { StrVecPage* first = nullptr; int nextPageSize = 256; int size = 0; } size is a cached number of strings. It could be calculated by summing the size in all StrVecPages. nextPageSize is the size of the next StrVecPage. Most array implementation increase the size of next allocation by 1.4x - 2x. I went with the following progression: 256 bytes, 1k, 4k, 16k, 32k and I cap it at 64k. I don’t have data behind those numbers, they feel right. Bigger page wastes more space. Smaller page makes random access slower because to find N-th string we need to traverse linked list of StrVecPage. nextPageSize is exposed to allow the caller to optimize use. E.g. if it expects lots of strings, it could set nextPageSize to a large number. StrVecPage Most of the implementation is in StrVecPage. The big idea here is: we allocate a block of memory strings are allocated from the end of memory block at the beginning of the memory block we build and index of strings. For each string we have: u32 size u32 offset of the string within memory block, counting from the beginning of the block The layout of memory block is: StrVecPage struct { size u32; offset u32 } [] … not yet used space strings This is StrVecPage: struct StrVecPage { struct StrVecPage* next; int pageSize; int nStrings; char* currEnd; } next is for linked list of pages. Since pages can have various sizes we need to record pageSize. nStrings is number of strings in the page and currEnd points to the end of free space within page. Implementing operations Appending a string Appending a string at the end is most common operation. To append a string: we calculate how much memory inside a page it’ll need: str::Len(string) + 1 + sizeof(u32) + sizeof(u32). +1 is for 0-termination for compatibility with C APIs that take char*, and 2xu32 for size and offset. If we have enough space in last page, we add size and offset at the end of index and append a string from the end i.e. `currEnd - (str::Len(string) + 1). If there is not enough space in last page, we allocate new page We can calculate how much space we have left with: int indexEntrySize = sizeof(u32) + sizeof(u32); // size + offset char* indexEnd = (char*)pageStart + sizeof(StrVecPage) + nStrings*indexEntrySize int nBytesFree = (int)(currEnd - indexEnd) Removing a string Removing a string is easy because it doesn’t require moving memory inside StrVecPage. We do nStrings-- and move index values of strings after the removed string. I don’t bother freeing the string memory within a page. It’s possible but complicated enough I decided to skip it. You can compact StrVec to remove all overhead. If you do not care about preserving order of strings after removal, I haveRemoveAtFast() which uses a trick: instead of copying memory of all index values after removed string, I copy a single index from the end into a slot of the string being removed. Replacing a string or inserting in the middle Replacing a string or inserting a string in the middle is more complicated because there might not be enough space in the page for the string. When there is enough space, it’s as simple as append. When there is not enough space, I re-use the compacting capability: I compact all existing pages into a single page with extra space for the string and some extra space as an optimization for multiple inserts. Iteration A random access requires traversing a linked list. I think it’s still fast because typically there aren’t many pages and we only need to look at a single nStrings value. After compaction to a single page, random access is as fast as it could ever be. C++ iterator is optimized for sequential access: struct iterator { const StrVec* v; int idx; // perf: cache page, idxInPage from prev iteration int idxInPage; StrVecPage* page; } We cache the current state of iteration as page and idxInPage. To advance to next string we advance idxInPage. If it exceeds nStrings, we advance to page->next. Optimized search Finding a string is as optimized as it could be without a hash table. Typically to compare char* strings you need to call str::Eq(s, s2) for every string you compare it to. That is a function call and it has to touch s2 memory. That is bad for performance because it blows the cache. In StrVec I calculate length of the string to find once and then traverse the size / offset index. Only when size is different I have to compare the strings. Most of the time we just look at offset / size in L1 cache, which is very fast. Compacting If you know that you’ll not be adding more strings to StrVec you can compact all pages into a single page with no overhead of empty space. It also speeds up random access because we don’t have multiple pages to traverse to find the item and a given index. Representing a nullptr char* Even though I have a string class, I mostly use char* in SumatraPDF code. In that world empty string and nullptr are 2 different things. To allow storing nullptr strings in StrVec (and not turning them into empty strings on the way out) I use a trick: a special u32 value kNullOffset represents nullptr. StrVec is a string pool allocator In C++ you have to track the lifetime of each object: you allocate with malloc() or new when you no longer need to object, you call free() or delete However, the lifetime of allocations is often tied together. For example in SumatraPDF an opened document is represented by a class. Many allocations done to construct that object last exactly as long as the object. The idea of a pool allocator is that instead of tracking the lifetime of each allocation, you have a single allocator. You allocate objects with the same lifetime from that allocator and you free them with a single call. StrVec is a string pool allocator: all strings stored in StrVec have the same lifetime. Testing In general I don’t advocate writing a lot of tests. However, low-level, tricky functionality like StrVec deserves decent test coverage to ensure basic functionality works and to exercise code for corner cases. I have 360 lines of tests for ~700 lines of of implementation. Potential tweaks and optimization When designing and implementing data structures, tradeoffs are aplenty. Interleaving index and strings I’m not sure if it would be faster but instead of storing size and offset at the beginning of the page and strings at the end, we could store size / string sequentially from the beginning. It would remove the need for u32 of offset but would make random access slower. Varint encoding of size and offset Most strings are short, under 127 chars. Most offsets are under 16k. If we stored size and offset as variable length integers, we would probably bring down average per-string overhead from 8 bytes to ~4 bytes. Implicit size When strings are stored sequentially size is implicit as difference between offset of the string and offset of next string. Not storing size would make insert and set operations more complicated and costly: we would have to compact and arrange strings in order every time. Storing index separately We could store index of size / offset in a separate vector and use pages to only allocate string data. This would simplify insert and set operations. With current design if we run out of space inside a page, we have to re-arrange memory. When offset is stored outside of the page, it can refer to any page so insert and set could be as simple as append. The evolution of StrVec The design described here is a second implementation of StrVec. The one before was simply a combination of str::Str (my std::string) for allocating all strings and Vec<u32> (my std::vector) for storing offset index. It had some flaws: appending a string could re-allocate memory within str::Str. The caller couldn’t store returned char* pointer because it could be invalidated. As a result the API was akward and potentially confusing: I was returning offset of the string so the string was str::Str.Data() + offset. The new StrVec doesn’t re-allocate on Append, only (potentially) on InsertAt and SetAt. The most common case is append-only which allows the caller to store the returned char* pointers. Before implementing StrVec I used Vec<char*>. Vec is my version of std::vector and Vec<char*> would just store pointer to individually allocated strings. Cost vs. benefit I’m a pragmatist: I want to achieve the most with the least amount of code, the least amount of time and effort. While it might seem that I’m re-implementing things willy-nilly, I’m actually very mindful of the cost of writing code. Writing software is a balance between effort and resulting quality. One of the biggest reasons SumatraPDF so popular is that it’s fast and small. That’s an important aspect of software quality. When you double click on a PDF file in an explorer, SumatraPDF starts instantly. You can’t say that about many similar programs and about other software in general. Keeping SumatraPDF small and fast is an ongoing focus and it does take effort. StrVec.cpp is only 705 lines of code. It took me several days to complete. Maybe 2 days to write the code and then some time here and there to fix the bugs. That being said, I didn’t start with this StrVec. For many years I used obvious Vec<char*>. Then I implemented somewhat optimized StrVec. And a few years after that I implemented this ultra-optimized version. References SumatraPDF is a small, fast, multi-format (PDF/eBook/Comic Book and more), open-source reader for Windows. The implementation described here: StrVec.cpp, StrVec.h, StrVec_ut.cpp By the time you read this, the implementation could have been improved.
Consent morality is the idea that there are no higher values or virtues than allowing consenting adults to do whatever they please. As long as they're not hurting anyone, it's all good, and whoever might have a problem with that is by definition a bigot. This was the overriding morality I picked up as a child of the 90s. From TV, movies, music, and popular culture. Fly your freak! Whatever feels right is right! It doesn't seem like much has changed since then. What a moral dead end. I first heard the term consent morality as part of Louise Perry's critique of the sexual revolution. That in the context of hook-up culture, situationships, and falling birthrates, we have to wrestle with the fact that the sexual revolution — and it's insistence that, say, a sky-high body count mustn't be taboo — has led society to screwy dating market in the internet age that few people are actually happy with. But the application of consent morality that I actually find even more troubling is towards parenthood. As is widely acknowledged now, we're in a bit of a birthrate crisis all over the world. And I think consent morality can help explain part of it. I was reminded of this when I posted a cute video of a young girl so over-the-moon excited for her dad getting off work to argue that you'd be crazy to trade that for some nebulous concept of "personal freedom". Predictably, consent morality immediately appeared in the comments: Some people just don't want children and that's TOTALLY OKAY and you're actually bad for suggesting they should! No. It's the role of a well-functioning culture to guide people towards The Good Life. Not force, but guide. Nobody wants to be convinced by the morality police at the pointy end of a bayonet, but giving up on the whole idea of objective higher values and virtues is a nihilistic and cowardly alternative. Humans are deeply mimetic creatures. It's imperative that we celebrate what's good, true, and beautiful, such that these ideals become collective markers for morality. Such that they guide behavior. I don't think we've done a good job at doing that with parenthood in the last thirty-plus years. In fact, I'd argue we've done just about everything to undermine the cultural appeal of the simple yet divine satisfaction of child rearing (and by extension maligned the square family unit with mom, dad, and a few kids). Partly out of a coordinated campaign against the family unit as some sort of trad (possibly fascist!) identity marker in a long-waged culture war, but perhaps just as much out of the banal denigration of how boring and limiting it must be to carry such simple burdens as being a father or a mother in modern society. It's no wonder that if you incessantly focus on how expensive it is, how little sleep you get, how terrifying the responsibility is, and how much stress is involved with parenthood that it doesn't seem all that appealing! This is where Jordan Peterson does his best work. In advocating for the deeper meaning of embracing burden and responsibility. In diagnosing that much of our modern malaise does not come from carrying too much, but from carrying too little. That a myopic focus on personal freedom — the nights out, the "me time", the money saved — is a spiritual mirage: You think you want the paradise of nothing ever being asked of you, but it turns out to be the hell of nobody ever needing you. Whatever the cause, I think part of the cure is for our culture to reembrace the virtue and the value of parenthood without reservation. To stop centering the margins and their pathologies. To start centering the overwhelming middle where most people make for good parents, and will come to see that role as the most meaningful part they've played in their time on this planet. But this requires giving up on consent morality as the only way to find our path to The Good Life. It involves taking a moral stance that some ways of living are better than other ways of living for the broad many. That parenthood is good, that we need more children both for the literal survival of civilization, but also for the collective motivation to guard against the bad, the false, and the ugly. There's more to life than what you feel like doing in the moment. The worst thing in the world is not to have others ask more of you. Giving up on the total freedom of the unmoored life is a small price to pay for finding the deeper meaning in a tethered relationship with continuing a bloodline that's been drawn for hundreds of thousands of years before it came to you. You're never going to be "ready" before you take the leap. If you keep waiting, you'll wait until the window has closed, and all you see is regret. Summon a bit of bravery, don't overthink it, and do your part for the future of the world. It's 2.1 or bust, baby!