For as long as I can remember I would feel fatigued very easily. I was always exhausted, lying down a lot, and I disliked anything that required excess energy, like sports. I...

i used to be one of those people who would say, marriage is just a piece of paper. but after being with her for years and years through all the tears and laughter it is starting to make me sad that if anything were to happen to me she wouldn’t be able to do things like make medical decisions on my behalf, collect my body when am gone, etc. I had to go to a lawyer to do specific paperwork that were not necessary if we were simply married. will i be able to call her my wife in my lifetime? it is just so saddening that the closest person to me will never be recognised as such in the eyes of the law. when i die, she will just be my “friend”. nevertheless am grateful to spend these 125 months together, perhaps even if she won’t be able to claim my body and if history will deem us as just“friends”, there will still be 125 pieces of my love lingering somewhere on the internet. (she made us clothes again! it is 98% zero waste!)

today didn't start well — i said that it is the worst anniversary we've had for the past 10 years. is it perimenopause? i've found it harder to cope with my sensitivity and she's finding it harder to cope with fatigue. yet we persisted in celebrating even though we are both feeling off. can it still be considered a celebration with we don't feel celebratory? but as the day wore on we started to find that familiar joy in each other again. that joy exists because we carved the space out for it to bubble out, just knowing that it'll be there somewhere, because even if the moods are questionable the foundation is still there. the foundation that we've accumulated for 124 months. being in the same physical space doesn't mean we are together, sometimes togetherness requires a psychological space where we can be truly in each other's presence. this is what our monthly anniversaries gift: the effort to belong in the same psychic space together come rain or shine. today i want to reiterate my gratitude that we are still both alive in the same space, that i can still reach out and hold her precious hand, that i can still enjoy that melodic ring in her voice. ageing has its challenges, that i am not sure how we're going to navigate it, but what matters is we are together now, and that togetherness is something deliberate and cherished.

I was browsing jazz music on bandcamp and discovered Storyville records. I thought they had an interesting catalogue so I became curious about their origin story. One thing led to another and...